Beginnings Aren't So Simple
by Kunoichi Uchiha Sakura
Summary: Taking in a deep breath she opened her eyes and looked down at the stick. Those two straight pink lines said it all. She was pregnant.
1. Starts With Goodbye

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple.**

_**Chapter One: Starts With Goodbye  
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Her hands shook as the small stick in her hands fell to the bathroom floor. She quickly gripped the edges of the counter trying to steady herself. No. This couldn't be happening. She bent forward a cold sweat took over her body as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the sink. Closing her eyes she tried to convince herself that this was all a bad dream. Taking in a deep breath she opened her eyes and looked down at the stick. Those two straight pink lines said it all. She was pregnant.

Her knees gave out from underneath her, causing her to crumble to the ground. She pulled her knees to her chest. She shook her head back and forth. No. No. No. This wasn't happening. She was barely eighteen. She was still a child herself. How could she have a child? She froze her jade orbs stared in horror. What would he say? This was supposed to be a secret. How could they keep their relationship a secret now? She closed her eyes and let the tears fall. How had this even begun?

_[One Year Ago]_

Cheers erupted through the battle field. Sakura looked up from the ninja she had been healing. Was it over? Was Sasuke really gone? Sakura's eyes widened as the cheers stopped nearly as fast as they had begun. Horror struck her. Where was Naruto's smiling face? Time slowed for her as she pushed off of her back foot and ran to the front line. She pushed her body through the pain, running as fast as she ever had. Her heart pounded in her chest. The sound echoed to her ears. She was almost sure that everyone else could hear it as well.

She froze. Her eyes widened at the amount of blood that surrounded her. She bent forward and threw up the stomach acid that was in her stomach. She gagged once more when the smell of burning flesh hit her nostrils. Looking up, fear over took her. Her eyes first landed on the Uchiha boy she had been so in love with years ago. Dead. She could tell from this far away. Her eyes darted around the clearing looking for the blonde she cared for.

Her eyes froze when they landed on Tsunade, who was in awful condition herself. Following Tsunade's arms to her hand, the woman's hand glowed green. "No," Sakura whispered. Tears began to pool around her eyes. Moving forward she ran until she got to the woman. She dropped to her knees. "Naruto? Naruto. Naruto!" Green eyes watched in horror as the healing energy was absorbed into his body but did nothing.

She let out a chocked sob as Naruto opened his eyes and looked at her. A smile on his face. "Sakura-chan... you're here. Where is Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura jumped when she felt a warm hand touch her shoulder. She looked up to see Kakashi. The eye that held his sharingan had a few streams of dried blood under it. His dark gray eyes stared at her. His mask was ripped in multiple areas almost making his face completely visible.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, breaking Sakura's eyes way from her sensei and back to her blonde teammate.

"We're here Naruto. Don't talk save your energy." Sakura cried. Sakura looked to Tsunade who had stopped healing him. Sakura stared in horror. Sakura moved forward her hands glowing. She froze when Naruto grabbed her arm.

"Don't." Sakura froze. She shook her head. Trying not to believe this was happening. "Tsunade-baa-chan? Am I... am I still Hokage? The war is over right?" she nodded trying to smile for the boy. His dream had come true, he would die Hokage. Saving his village.

"Yes... you're the seventh Hokage." she said. Sakura brought her hand up and covered her mouth trying to hold back the sounds of her sobs.

"Kakashi...?" Kakashi looked down at his student. "Before I die," Sakura let out a sob. "I appoint you as my successor."

"Naruto I-" Kakashi tried to protest.

"This is my dying wish. Give me that you old man." Naruto laughed. Kakashi closed his eyes tightly before nodding. Kakasi hated himself. Another one of his teammate would be dying. And it was his entire fault. "Kakashi... don't blame yourself. This was meant to be." Naruto coughed, blood covered his lips. "You haven't lost everyone. You aren't alone. Sakura-chan. She's gonna need you Kakashi. More than you think." Kakashi turned and looked at Sakura who indeed was bawling.

"Don't worry. I will. I'll protect her with my life." Kakashi assured him.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto moved his hand up to touch her. Sakura quickly grasped his hand and brought it to her face. "Don't cry anymore. You're much to pretty." Sakura forced back a sob. "I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of this," he laughed bitterly. "Sasuke and I really messed up your choices in men?" he tried to joke only to make Sakura cry more. "I want you to find someone who will make you the happiest woman in the world. Promise me you'll do this."

"I promise." Sakura cried into his hand.

"Sakura-chan... I love you..." he mumbled, he looked up at the sky. The sun shined on the ninja. Sakura watched as his eyes became lifeless and his hand went limp in her hand.

"Naruto? Naruto! Naruto!" Sakura screamed. Kakashi grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest. Her tears quickly began to soak his flak jacket. His own tears mixed in with the blood on his face. He pulled the sobbing girl closer to him. He hated to admit it, but Naruto was right. They needed each other. She was all he had left and he clung to the sobbing girl.

XXX

Sakura opened her eyes, she closed them tightly. They stung from the tears she had cried. After a few moments she opened the again. She found herself on the back of Kakashi as they walked through the forest. She let out a groan feeling the effects of not having eaten in a few days. "Sakura?" the back she laid against vibrated against her chest as he spoke.

"Hmmm?" she mumbled lazily. Her throat hurt from her sobbing. She wanted to cry remembering what had happened but found that she was out of tears.

"We're stopping." Kakashi said, and before Sakura knew what was happening she was removed from the man's back and was laid against a tree's base. "Here," Kakashi said, his voice came out light and smooth. Sakura shivered from the lack of body heat. It was then that she realized that it was already dark out. She looked up to find Kakashi handing her a canteen. "It's water." she nodded and took it from him before gulping down the water. It refreshed her, somehow making her feel clean.

Kakashi turned away but what stopped when Sakura grabbed his hand. "Is he...?" she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. If she did it would make it real. Kakashi looked away from her before nodding. Sakura gulped back the sob and forced the tears back. Naruto had said she wasn't allowed to cry anymore. So she would try her hardest not to.

"Alright," Kakashi said standing up from his kneeling position and facing the nin who were in his squad. "We're going to set up camp her tonight and head back to Konoha tomorrow."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." three people chimed in. Sakura's eyes widened. That was right. Kakashi was their Hokage. Looking past Kakashi she found their team consisted of Iruka, Genma, and Inuzuka Hana. Kiba's older sister. Kakashi turned back around and looked down at Sakura.

"Are you hurt at all?" Kakashi asked, bending down at her level. It was strange seeing him like this. He had always watched over her, but now things were different. He was more caring. It was like he wanted to watch her. Take care of her. Be there for her.

"No..." she whispered. "Is there... is there any water nearby." Kakashi looked around trying to pin point the exact location in the forest circling Konoha they were in.

"Yes, there is a river nearby."

"Can you take me there?" Sakura asked, pushing herself up using the tree that sat behind her. Her body was so stiff. How long had she been on his back? She took a step forward before falling only to be caught in Kakashi's arms. She gasped. She had never been this close to the copycat ninja. His arms were much thicker and stronger than she had though. She looked up at him and blushed embarrassed to even be thinking about the man like that.

"Can you walk?"

"I'll be fine." Sakura said, forcing herself to stand up.

"Sakura and I are going to get the water. Get a fire started and find some food." Kakashi said, collecting all the canteens. Sakura stood and waited for him before following him from the tiny clearing if you could even call it that and walking further into the dense forest. Sakura sighed in relief when the river came into view. Kakashi quickly walked to it and began to refill the canteens.

Sakura stared at the water. Water. It was so cleansing. So renewing. She wanted to be renewed. She needed to be renewed. She felt tears coming at her. No. She couldn't cry. She closed her eyes before un zipping her top. The cold night air rushed at her hot skin. She then made quick work of the rest of her clothes and slowly walked to the water. She came to a stop next to where Kakashi was kneeling. He froze what he was doing before looking over. He stared wide eyed at her bare legs before slowly taking in her naked form.

Sakura held her hands to her chest as she slowly walked into the cold water. She shivered as her body became covered in goose bumps. Once she was in waist deep she dropped down immersing herself in the water. She could feel her hot tears come from her closed eyes. She wasn't crying though she was covered by water. Running out of air she came back up to the surface. The cold night air attacked her body once more. Kakashi stood at the bank staring at her. His mouth wide. She lowered her arms revealing her well-formed breasts. Kakashi clinched his fists trying to keep thoughts at bay as his pants became tighter. Sakura slowly walked to the shore before standing up.

"Are you crazy? That water is freezing." Kakashi said as he took his flak jacket off. He then stripped his first outer shirt, he quickly pulled it down over her head, and she slipped her hands through the arms holes. Kakashi than began to rub her arms trying to warm the pink haired kunoichi whose lips had already turned blue.

"I couldn't cry..." Sakura whispered before she moved forward. Her arms wrapped around the man. Kakashi stood frozen. Here he stood with just a thin layer of clothing between him and one of the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He pulled her close. She was broken. And it seemed that he... he was the only one who could put her back together.

**A/N**

**This is going to be a pretty long fic considering I'm starting with what happened one year before where she is now. I hope you guys liked the chapter. I know it's super sad that Naruto died... :( Well this is a trial to see how many like this and will review. If not a lot review I probably won't update again until I've finished one of my other in progress fics.**


	2. Save Me, I'm Lost

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Two: Save Me, I'm Lost**_

Staring out over the sleeping village it was hard to believe that they had been in a war hardly over a week ago. The pinkette kept her eyes on the rising sun. Rising not setting. Her life was far from over and she knew it. She hated that thought. They were gone. Her two best friends in the whole world. Gone. Dead. Forever. She clasped her eyes shut. She didn't want to believe that it was possible. "Sakura." she turned around. Her salvation stood behind her. He was dressed completely in the Hokage robes ready to begin his first day as Hokage.

"Kakashi..." she whispered before turning to face the rising sun once more. She had to remind herself that it wasn't over. "I feel so lost..." she whispered. She could hear the rocks from under his feet crunch with every step he took towards her. She looked up at him.

"If you're lost... at least I'm here with you," he tried to lighten the mood. She glanced down at her funeral attire. Today was the day that the village would be holding the funerals of all of those who had died from their village. Everyone from Uchiha Itachi to Uzumaki Naurto.

"Thank you Kakashi," her bottom lip trembled as she tried to smile at him. Bells signaled throughout the wakening village.

"There is no need to thank me. I think that was our call to go," he said.

"What arriving on time now?" Sakura questioned.

"Something the counsel told me I had to work on," Kakashi said with a smile before poofing out of view. Sakura couldn't help but laugh lightly. That was the first time that he had pulled her heart strings. She walked down the dirt path slowly, counting every one of her steps as she did this. She enjoyed the cold morning air that entered her lungs. It was a first time in a long time that her village had been in complete peace. No more sound ninja to worry about. She wanted to be happy. She really did. But she couldn't help thinking that this peace came with a cost a very large cost. Once she reached the base of the mountain she we welcomed by many other villagers and ninja alike who were dressed as she and on their way to the funeral site.

She took slow steady steps. She was almost scared that if she didn't pay attention to her walk that she would lose thought of what she was doing and have a break down right in the middle of the walk way. "Sakura," she looked to her side to see her blonde best friend.

"Ino," she sighed in relief hoping she wouldn't have to deal with others sending her sad looks. "Tsunade-shishou wants to see us after the funeral," Sakura nodded. "You okay?" there it was. The question she had been trying to ignore for a week. Was she okay? No, no she wasn't. Would she be? She wasn't sure. How she wanted to be okay. Or hope that one day she would be able to look back at this day without tears in her eyes and say. Yes it happened. I wasn't okay then but I will be. "You don't have to answer now," Ino assured her. Sakura sighed thankful for that. "I got a flower for you," Ino whispered.

Sakura smiled sadly at least that was one thing she didn't have to worry about for the day. She gasped when she stared down at the single flower that Ino held out for her. A single pink carnation. I will remember you. "Thank you Ino. I couldn't have found a more perfect flower," Sakura whispered.

"Good, now let's get a move on! Don't want to be late right?" Ino smiled, if it was one thing she had learned over the years was that you couldn't leave the pinkette to her own thoughts for long. The two quickly fell in line with the rest of Konoha and soon found themselves near the front of the large mass of black. Sakura looked up to meet the one gray eye of her former sensei. He looked just as uncomfortable as she felt. She closed her eyes and let his smooth voice feel her ears.

XXX

Blue and green eyes stared wide eyed at the older woman. They couldn't believe their ears. "Are... Are you sure shishou?" Sakura was the first to speak. She was shocked to say the least. There was so much changing all around her. She knew it was for the good. But she couldn't help but be sad that Naruto wasn't there to see all the great he had brought to the village.

"I'm more than sure. I think it's a great idea and Kakashi had agreed to it," Tsuande smiled as she looked at the two young girls. They weren't even women yet. Sure they were considered adults in the eyes of ninja already being over the age of sixteen, but they were just girls in her eyes. "You two are the strongest kunoichi I have had the pleasure of training. I am more than positive that you two will do fine," Tsunade smiled as she turned to look out the window to her office at the hospital. Her honey eyes looked out over the small office than she was used to.

"Thank you Tsunade-shishou!" the two girls smiled.

"What do you want to name it?" Tsuande asked, turning to look at the girls. Ino turned and looked at Sakura, she nodded. Sakura smiled sadly before making eye contact with Tsunade.

"The Uzumaki Naruto Emergency Health Clinic," Sakura smiled. She couldn't help but smile. Naruto would be so proud of her. This much she knew. That was it! She would live for Naruto. She would make sure others would live as well. He had given up his life so that way the village could live in peace again. And that's what she would do. She would heal everyone as best as she could. She would make other people live.

"Well than, why don't you two get to telling the new Hokage what you decided to name it," she smiled. Sakura and Ino nodded before walking from Tsuande's office in the hospital.

"Can you believe it Forehead! This is awesome!" Ino cheered as they walked down the hallway. Sakura nodded a smile on her face.

"I knew it Ino. I know what my purpose in life is. I knew exactly what I'm going to do so that way Naruto didn't die in vain. I'm going to make sure that this emergency clinic is the best!" Ino smiled at her friend.

"Well you know there's more to life than just work," Ino said looking at her friend. "You know... like friends... and family... you're young Sakura, I'm sure you'll even get married and have kid-"

"Stop," Ino stopped walking when she realized that Sakura was stopped at a standstill.

"Sakura?" Ino asked. She was worried for her friend. Sure it was a good thing that Sakura wanted to dive into the clinic, but there was more to life than work. One thing Ino knew was that Naruto wanted Sakura to be happy. He wanted her to move on, have friends. Live life to its fullest. Fall in love. "You know Naruto-"

"You didn't know him," Sakura glared at the blonde. "You don't know what he would have wanted for me!" Ino looked around them to see that people on the streets were staring at them. She turned back to look at Sakura. She was far from stable enough to have this conversation. Maybe in a few months Ino would try and talk to her again.

"You're right," Sakua took a step back moving from an offensive position. "I don't know what Naruto would have wanted for you, I've got to go meet Sai, do you think you can go and talk to Kakashi-sama," Sakura stared at the blonde woman for a moment.

"Yeah, I can go..." she said. Ino nodded before walked away from the pinkette. There was only one other person who would understand how Sakura was feeling and that was Kakashi. So if Ino had to force herself from not trying to help that's what she would do.

Sakura walked down the busy streets of Konoha. It was almost like nothing had happened. Streets were busy. Stores rebuilt. Everyone happy. How could everyone be so happy? She clinched her fist. How could they not feel the same pain she was feeling? It killed her. How could they go about their day so normally? She clinched her fist. Just hours ago they were having a memorial service for her fallen comrades.

Tears streamed down her pale cheeks. She furiously wiped them away. No crying.

_"Sakura-chan?" Naruto moved his hand up to touch her. Sakura quickly grasped his hand and brought it to her face. "Don't cry anymore. You're much to pretty." Sakura forced back a sob. "I'm sorry you got stuck in the middle of this," he laughed bitterly. "Sasuke and I really messed up your choices in men?" he tried to joke only to make Sakura cry more. "I want you to find someone who will make you the happiest woman in the world. Promise me you'll do this."_

His words ran in her head. How could he make her promise such a thing as not allowing her to cry any longer? That's what she was known for. Being the cry baby of the group. She sniffled before walking up to the doors to the Hokage Tower. She slowly opened the door to see Shizune running down the spiral corridor.

"Oh Sakura! Kakashi-sama was looking for you," She said out of breath as she reached the pinkette.

"Shizune are you okay?" Sakura asked the worn out woman.

"Yes yes just tired. It's busy with a new Hokage. He's almost as bad as Tsunade-sama at doing paperwork. I can't wait until he chooses who his assistant will be so I can get back to helping Tsunade-sama at the hospital," Shizune smiled. "Now I'm off to get flowers."

"Flowers?" she questioned but Shizune was already half way down the street. Sakura sighed before walking up the spiral stair corridor until she reached the large wooden doors that signaled the entrance to the Hokage's office. She leaned against the door hearing his smooth voice talking to himself. She giggled before knocking.

"Come in," she heard his muffled voice. She pushed opened the door to see him with his feet up on the desk an older Icha Icha Paradise book in his hand. She rolled her eyes as she walked in, shutting the door with a click behind her.

"Really Kakashi-sensei, I don't think the villagers would like to see you reading your smut book," She mumbled walking to the window. She sighed as the sun that was coming in warmed her skin.

"I'm not your sensei anymore Sakura," he said, she heard him shut his book. He was right. He wasn't her sensei anymore. In fact he hadn't been for quite some time. This wasn't the first time he had told her she needn't call him that any longer. She turned around and faced him, sitting her bum on the window ceil. She looked him over.

"Hai Kakashi-sama," she covered her mouth as soon as she said it. When had her voice ever become so seductive? His only visible eye clearly told her he was just as shocked as she was. Her face reddened as he moved closer to her.

"Kakashi-sama?" she shuddered at his voice. It was husky and dangerous something you expected a man to whisper to you in the heat of passion. His hands pressed on the window ceil on either side of her.

She was nervous and excited all in one. She felt like her stomach was ready to leap out of her body by the flips it was doing inside her. She stuck her tongue out slightly licking her lips when she realized how dry they were. He moved in closer and she could smell him. He smelt of sandalwood. He smelt like the forest in the early morning after a rain storm. Her eyes fluttered shut as he moved even closer so she would feel his warm breath on her lips.

"I like the sound of that," she shuddered once more as his masked lips pressed against hers. At first it was a light touch then her slowly pressed further into her until his arms were wrapped around her and her body was pressed into her. It felt so amazing. Her whole body was on fire. Something she hadn't experienced since the last time she had been with Naruto. Before he…

Green eyes snapped opened. She quickly pushed Kakashi away. She started at him wide eyed. What was he doing to her? Making her feel? Making her forget things that had happened before. She started at him horrified. She moved from the window and quickly out of the room. Kakashi closed his eyes when he heard the door slam shut.

"_You love her too?" Kakashi started at his old student. The two stood in one of the many tents that were __set up through their forward operating base. _

"_What are you talking about Naruto?" Kakashi smiled at him. _

_Naruto smiled. "You don't have to kid with me, Kakashi-sensei. Just answer the question." _

"_And what question is that?" _

_Naruto sighed. Who knew his sensei would be this big of a pain. "Sakura-chan. You love her too?" _

"_Naruto…" Kakashi sighed before leaning against one of the trees that was holding up the tent. "Sakura is my stud—" _

"_Was." _

"_Sakura was my student. Also, I'm pretty sure that last night we found who she wants to be with,__" Naruto blushed. _

"_Damnit Kakashi answer the question." Kakashi looked up at Naruto. Never had the boy dropped sensei from his name before. "You know what. Don't answer. Cause I know. You love h__er." Kakashi wanted to protest but he knew it would be a lie of course he loved the pinkette how could you not? "I'm going to die." _

"_Naruto don't say tha," Kakashi said quickly. _

"_Kakashi," Naruto looked at him his blue eyes shining. "I'm only saying it cause I know… I can feel it. I'm not going to make it back to Konoha. I want you to promise me something before we finish this final battle. Don't let her be unhappy. Kakashi you're the only good guy out there. I don't want her ending up with fucking Kiba or Neji, or god forbid Sai." Naruto ranted. "So please… when I'm gone. Make sure she doesn't lose her smile…" _

Kakashi stared at the door that Sakura had just ran out of. So much for making her smile.

**A/N**

**So… I really didn't expect this many people to review! Almost 20 reviews for the first chapter! You guys are the best! I wasn't going to update this so fast but since I'm being lazy with my other fics… I figured I should update this one so I hope you guys are super stoked. Lol and leave as many reviews as you did before. **

**A few of you noticed that I said Naruto was named 7****th**** Hokage. That's because in the anime Danzo is made 6****th**** Hokage… even though he's a bastard and I can't stand him I tried to make this relatively compliant with the canon version. **

**If you ever have a question or a leave a review I'll either send you a message answering it or I'll write it in my A/N sooooo…..**

**Answer to Reviews: **

**Anon: Kakasaku and Itasaku are my all time fav ships! Hands down. The reason my grammar and spelling was so awful was before now I was writing everything on notebook and my husband finally got me Word Perfect! There is a god lol**

**Quick question for everyone. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to write any lemons for this fic. But If you guys want them I'll write them. So please let me know if that's something you want, or something your totally not down for.**

**Well. That's the second chapter Please review! Thanks again for reading!**


	3. Remember This Moment

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Three: Remember This Moment. **_

Sakura didn't look back the entire time she ran from the Hokage tower to her apartment she shared with Ino. She could only hope that Kakashi didn't follow her. Her mind was running a mile a minutes as well as her heart. Once the door to her apartment was opened she ran in and shut the door. She leaned against the door completely out of breath. What had just happened?

Her heart continued to pound in her chest and the beating was the only thing she could hear. She brought her hand up to cover mouth as a sob wracked though her body. She couldn't hold it back. Not anymore. She had never been in so much pain. Why was god torturing her like this?

"_I want to remember this moment. Forever." She shivered at how deep his voice was. She looked up into those beautiful cerulean eyes. Her heart leaped in her chest. _

"_So do I," she agreed as she felt him move inside her. The two had been lying like that for nearly an hour. _

"_You are so beautiful Sakura-chan," he nuzzled her cheek before moving down and placing loving kissed on her neck. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She nodded not being able to find her words. "I just want you to know how much I love you before—" _

"_Naruto. Please." She pleaded with him. He smiled as he closed his eyes and shook his head. She felt a bubble of pain her chest. Her whole chest felt like someone was squeezing it. Making it harder to breath. "Don't." _

"_Please listen." He opened his eyes staring right into hers. It was like he could see into her soul. Feel the same pain that she felt. "I left a note to Ino. Since she won't be on the front lines I asked her to give it to you… when she felt that you would need it." Sakura nodded. _

"_But I won't need it." Sakura said. Naruto smiled sadly. _

Her loud sobs echoed through the small apartment. How could this have happened? Why? Why? Why? _Why…?_

A few hours later Ino pushed open the door only for it to hit Sakura's sleeping form. Ino sighed in desperation. She shut the door before walking to the ledge jumping up she landed on the front patio. She opened the sliding glass door happy that she had left it unlocked. She sat down a large vase of red tulips on the kitchen counter. She had found them on the door step when she arrived home.

She walked over to the hallway that led to their front door. She sighed seeing her pink haired best friend. Dried tears stained the woman's face. Ino sighed before moving to Sakura. She bent down picking Sakura, who didn't even budge. Ino carried her to her bedroom. She pushed back the covers before placing the dead weight kunoichi in the bed. Ino pulled the covers up over Sakura's shoulders before walking towards the door.

She turned around to stare at her friend. Her heart hurt for her. She frowned slight before slowly shutting the door.

"_Ino," Ino turned around from the group of young medics she was talking too. She was in charge of the group that was going to be working one the wounded who were sent back. _

"_Naruto?" she turned around to see the blonde haired boy. "What are you doing here?" _

"_I need to give you something," he said reaching into his pocket he pulled out a medium sized scroll. Reaching forward Ino took it in her hands before looking at him questioningly. "If I don't come back, I need you to give this to Sakura. And only give it to her if… if you're scared for her own life." _

_Ino's eyes widened before placing the scroll in her pocket. "Do you really think—" _

"_I think Sakura is a strong woman. But… I'm scared she won't be when all of this is over." Ino nodded. _

"_Don't worry Naruto. I'll make sure she'll be fine." Ino assured him. _

The blonde woman sighed as she walked into the kitchen. She started at vase of red tulips. She pressed her lips together. She knew it couldn't be for her. Sai was great and all but she knew for a fact he still hadn't researched what being romantic was. So after a few moments of staring at them she walked over and searched for a letter.

She smiled thankful to find one. Who would be sending Sakura red tulips? If anything she should be getting lilies. Lilies were the common flower you gave to someone who was grieving. But tulips? And red tulips at that! Red tulips were the universal flower for undying love. Holding up the card she sighed seeing it was blank. She made a face of annoyance before flipping it over. On the other side it read:

_Sometimes things don't go as planned; just remember… life goes on. _

Ino started at the white card for a few minutes before placing it back on the flowers. She smiled sadly at it.

* * *

><p>Black high heels clicked down the dimly lit hallway. The high heels belonged to non other than Haruno Sakura. The pinkette had taken after her shishou and wearing black heals while working. She wore a red top that came down to a little under her pelvic bone. Two pockets on the front filled in pen and a few soldier pills if she needed them. Under the her first where a pair of black kapries. Over her top was her white medical coat. Her long pink hair was pulled up into a pony tail.<p>

She stared at the patient chart that sat on the wall. So far there were only two ninja occupying the rooms of the Uzumaki Naruto Emergency Clinic. For that she was happy. She placed the chart back in the chart holder before turning down the hallway.

She had agreed to take the night shift. Ino took mornings. Sakura could already tell that Ino was tiring of the clinic. Sakura didn't mind though. Unlike herself, Ino had so much to love for. She was young, and beautiful, and had a blossoming relationship with Sai. Where all Sakura had was a broke team and a health clinic.

Sakura walked down the hallway until she reached the brightly lit waiting room where Moegi sat behind the desk. One of Sakura's old medical journals sat in front of her. Moegi had completely immersed herself in becoming a certified medic nin. She had lost her teammate Udon in the war. She was just as broken as Sakura was.

"How's the studying going?" Sakura asked, sitting down on the edge of the counter. It was then that she noticed the vase full of red tulips. They had continued to be dropped off where ever she was for the past week. From the day she had gone and seen Kakashi to now, she still received them. There was no doubt in her mind they were from him. He was the only one in the village who knew where she was at all times. In fact she had found Wednesday's tulips at Naruto's grave.

The letter she was left with? _It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. _

Friday at the bar she had gotten talked into going to with Ino and Tenten sitting behind the bar. Red tulips. The letter she was left with this time? _Don't fear tomorrow, or regret the past. Live for what's now and never… look… back. _

Picking up today's letter she looked it over. _My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise. _She crumpled up the paper before dropping it into the trash can.

"It's good Sakura-san." Moegi smiled at Sakura before going back to reading the journal.

Sakura nodded before looking up at the clock. It was only 2:55 am. She still had a long way to go before her night was over.

Leaning back she thought about their new Hokage. Kakashi. She could hardly believe that he would be sending her these messages every day. All she wanted to do was be sad. Weep. Cry. Be angry. Anything, anything other than happy. Yet every day she would be graced with beautiful flowers. And somehow they made her smile. Every day when she thought her life was the worst her would remind her, that he was there.

At least three times a day some ninja would knock on her door and tell her she was needed at the Hokage tower. And every day she refused. Either went back to bed or got ready for work. Ino had done a lovely job at leaving a vase of tulips in everyone in their apartment causing Sakura to smile every time she saw it. In the bathroom, two in her bedroom, one in the kitchen and two in the living room. And now, one at work.

The two girls looked up as the door opened. Sakura stared wide eyed at the silver haired Hokage. Kakashi shut the door behind him making a quite noise as the cold evening air entered h room. Sakura sighed. She knew it was only a matter of time before he ended up showing up here. Ever since that kiss…

That kiss had changed everything. It had stirred something inside of her that she never wanted to get loose again. She tried to convince herself she wanted nothing to do with what he had to offer but every day those damn tulips made her think… what did she really want? She watched as he removed his Hokage cover and his unruly hair stuck out.

"Good morning Hokage-sama." Moegi said respectively before moving from her set and down the hall way. Sakura looked at the clock cursing it with her eyes that it was time for Moegi to do her rounds. She turned back and looked at the silver haired man. It was like he had this all planned out. She than frowned looking back at the clock. 3:30 am?

"Are you just getting off of work?" She asked, as he moved closer to her.

"Yeah," he said scratching the back of his head. "I never knew that being Hokage would be such a hard job." He said. Sakura smiled lightly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to see you." He replied moving to stand in front of her. He brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Why are you doing this?" She needed to know. It was killing her. She just wanted to know what had come over the man that was making him do these things.

"I made a promise—"

"You promised him you would take care of me nothing more." She glared.

"You're wrong." He said trying to stay as calm as he could.

"I can't do this right now Kakashi, please… please. Not now." Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. He reached up and slowly brushed those tears away.

He lean forward and kissed her forehead. "If you're not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." Her eyes widened and he was gone a few leafs drifted down from where he once stood. Sakura sighed before hugging herself. Why was life so cruel to her?

**A/N**

**So I was super stoked to find that so many of you like you this! And 30 reviews for 2 chapters! I just had to update. I hope that you guys don't find this two cheesy. It's going be pretty depressing for a few more chapters but than it'll be more upbeat and I'll be able to add in funnier things and what not. Also since I had no one complain about me putting in lemons... there will be some for all of you :D Which I hope makes you happy. So please review!**


	4. Driven Towards Darkness

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Four: Driven Towards Darkness.**_

Sakura stood gripping the edges of the vanity in the hospital bathroom. The wood under her hands bent slightly at the force she was using. Sweat poured down her body, she was hot but cold. This was the first time she had ever reacted so unprofessional in her entire medical career. They had to call Ino to come in and take over because Sakura couldn't handle it. Ino! Really? The girl who had never been better than her at healing was now needed.

Sakura let go of the white counter before taking a few steps back until her back hit the cold wall. She slid down until she sat on the title ground. She tried to calm down her breathing. Taking in large gulps she looked back up at her reflection. She looked awful. Her face looked sunken in as to skinny for her body. She ran a hand through her hair before looking back at her reflection. She gasped when she met her eyes.

Eyes were supposed to be the gates to your soul… Staring into her own eyes… she saw nothingness. She ripped her eyes away from her reflection. She sneered before standing up. Walking to the window she cocked her hand back and swung, her fist connecting with the glass. She watched as it shattered. Blood covered her hand as she pulled back she let it fall back to her side.

She was relieved to not have to look at her reflection. If she didn't see it, it wasn't real. If she didn't see how sick she was, she wasn't. If she didn't see Kakashi she could deny her feelings. She swallowed hard trying to keep the contents down of her food.

The reason she was here in the bathroom? Tonight they had their first injured team. When she stood in front of that medical table down at the bleeding ninja all she could see were those cerulean eyes staring back up at her. It killed her. She freaked out in the middle of a surgery. Moegi had to conduct it on her own and contact Ino. While all she could do was sink to the floor… and do… nothing.

She moved quickly throwing open one of the stalls opened. Practically sticking her head into the toilet she let all the contents out of her stomach. After she dry heaved a few times she grabbed a bit of toilet paper and wiped her mouth. She leaned back and laid against the stall.

"Sakura?" Sakura crawled out of the stall to find a horrified looking Ino standing at the door. Ino's eyes continued to widen as her eyes drifted from the shattered window that covered the vanity and the floor. Her eyes drifted to Sakura to find her hand bleeding, tears were formed on her eyes. "Are you okay?"

Sakura sighed before looking down at her hand. She looked back up at Ino. She sniffled. "I…" she looked to the mess she made. "Don't know," Ino looked down at her sadly.

"Come on, lets get you home," Ino whispered before walking across the broken mirror and to Sakura. Sakura nodded before forcing herself to stand.

* * *

><p>Sakura sat at the coffee table in the kitchen looking over a few charts as Ino busied herself at the stove. "You want some Sakura?" Ino asked, turning to smirk at the pinkette. "Dumplings, I know they're your favorite."<p>

"No thank you, I'm not hungry." Sakura said, not bothering to look up from her paper. She picked up a pen and made a few marks on the paper before going back to red other them. Ino started at her shocked. Sakura had never once turned down her dumplings before.

"Have you eaten yet today?" Ino asked. Sakura looked up and glared at Ino.

"Yes I have, I'd like to do this is quite before I have to go to the clinic," Ino started shocked at Sakura's outburst. She turned back to the stove before grabbing two bento boxes and began filling them with food. She opened the cupboard to find all food still where she had left them the night before. She looked back over to Sakura and observed her with the eye of a medic. "What are you staring at?"

Ino looked away and grabbed a white cloth. "Nothing," Ino said, she wrapped her bento boxes. "I'm going to Sai's. I'll see you tomorrow," Ino said before leaving from the room.

"Finally," Sakura glared at her. Ino sighed as she shut the door behind her. As she walked down the darkening streets of Konoha she couldn't help but think that there was something wrong with Sakura. Something was changing and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. With a sigh she tried not to think about it.

Sakura was a smart girl. She would never do something stupid enough to hurt herself. But she couldn't help but notice how Sakura wasn't eating as she used to. She reached up and knocked on Sai's familiar front door.

Sai opened the door. His back shirt was covered in flour as well as a little on his face. "Oh Ino-chan! You made it." He smiled. Ino giggled as she walked into the apartment. She was welcomed by the scent that reminded her of Sai: Ink and mint.

"Wait?" she said out loud. She frowned slightly. "What is that smell? It smells like burnt— Sai!" she screamed dropping her bento boxes and ran into the kitchen to find the stove on fire. "What did you do you idiot!" Sai who stood behind her smiled.

"I tried to cook dinner for us," Ino rolled her eyes and she turned the stove off.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I made us dinner already," she turned back and grabbed the bento box and sat it down on the table pulling it out she placed one box on each side of the table. Sai smiled and sat down. He pulled open the lid.

"This looks amazing Ino-chan," he smiled. Ino blushed as she pulled out a pair of chop sticks for each of them.

"It's not that great…" she said before looking down.

"Is this one of those times when I repeat myself that it is good?" he asked, looking at her. Ino laughed.

"Yes Sai-kun. It's one of those moments," Sai nodded.

"Then, really Ino-chan it looks amazing," he smiled and took a bite. Ino laughed before going to her own food. As she ate she started to thinking back to Sakura.

"Sai-kun, have you seen Sakura lately?" she asked. Sai looked up at her.

"Is this a trick question?" he asked look utterly terrified. Ino smiled.

"No no it's not. I was just wondering if you had seen her, or maybe trained or anything?"

Sai shook his head. "No, I have not. Since Kakashi is now Hokage, and Naruto-kun is gone… I guess we don't really have a reason to… what's the word… get together?" he asked.

Ino nodded. "It's okay, I was just wondering," she said smiling sadly she looked back down at her food.

"Why are you sad? Did I do something wrong?" Sai asked worried. Ino looked back up at him.

"No! You didn't do anything wrong!" Ino assured him. "I'm just," she poked at her food. "Worried about Sakura… I think there is something wrong with her."

"Like she's sick?" Ino nodded.

"Yeah, sick."

"Maybe she should see Tsunade-sama if she's sick. She makes people better," Sai said smiling. "Well I suppose you can do that too…"

Ino squealed causing Sai to stare at her terrified. "That's brilliant! I'll ask Tsuande-sama!" she ran over and kissed him. "You're brilliant, you know that?" she said sitting down on his lap.

"Is this where I act modest?"

* * *

><p>Ino sat across from Tsunade who was sipping tea and going over the expense chats of the hospital. Ino fidgeted in her seat still unsure of how she wanted to go about this whole thing. Today it had started to get worse. This morning when Sakura got home she caught her throwing up in the bathroom. She had even caught up with Moegi who worked the night shift with Sakura.<p>

"_Moegi! Hey! Wait a sec!" Ino yelled running up to catch up with the orange haired girl. _

"_Oh Ino-san, what is it that you need?" Moegi asked, a small smile on her face. _

"_Look… um…" Ino said playing with her bangs. "I have a personal question to ask you…" Moegi's eyes got wide and nodded following Ino back into the hospital. The two walked to the back office that Sakura and her shared. Once she and Moegi entered the room she shut the door. _

"_What is it that you need Ino-san?" _

_Ino clenched and unclenched her hands multiple times before finally finding the words. "Have… you noticed any big changes in Sakura?" she asked. Moegi shook her head no. _

"_No, I mean if this is about Sakura-san's slip up the other night she's been fine since! I swear! She's fine." Ino growled. _

"_I," she slammed her hand on the desk. Looking back at Moegi tears were in her blue eyes. "That's not what I meant. Has she been eating at all? Taking breaks like she's supposed to?" _

_Moegi blinked a few times trying to think about it. "I asked her if she was hungry and she said she had a bug so she wasn't hungry." _

"_Have you seen her throw up? Or heard her?" Ino asked through clinched teeth. "Please Moegi. This is important. Sakura is my best friend. I need to know if there is something wrong so I can help her get better." _

_Moegi looked around. She closed her eyes. "I found her throwing up in the bathroom the other night…" she whispered. "There was blood in it," A tear slid down her eyes. "She made me promise not to say anything; she said she was just sick," Ino sighed as she sat down behind the desk. She closed her eyes. How had things gotten so bad? How had she not paid enough attention? "Am I in trouble?" Moegi asked in a small whisper. _

"_No, your fine. I won't tell Sakura that you told me." Ino smiled at the younger girl. "Go home and get some sleep." _

"_Is Sakura-san going to be okay?" Moegi asked. _

_Ino gulped. Was she going to be okay? She wasn't even sure what was wrong. How could she make things better? She looked up at Moegi and smiled lightly. "I'll make sure she'll be okay." _

"I'm going to assume you came here for a reason other than to just stare at me, Ino." Tsunade said looking up from her paper. Her honey eyes stared Ino down. Ino gulped once more trying to find her strength.

"It's about Sakura," her voice cracked and her tears fell. She couldn't even talk about her without breaking into tears.

"What do you mean?" Tsuande asked, slamming her hand on the desk. "What is wrong with Sakura?" she demanded.

Ino tried to breathe so she could talk. "She's sick…" looking up her eyes told Tsuande all she needed to know. And with that Ino spilled her heart out to the older woman.

* * *

><p>Kakashi stood out looking over the village he now swore to protect. He ran a hand through his unruly hair before sitting on the edge of the window, one of his legs sat over the edge. His only visible eyes watched the sinking sun and the thunder storm roll in.<p>

He sat down and checked off one of the many quotes that were on the notepad that Naruto had left for him. Haruto had instructed him to send her a vase of red tulips everyday with either one of Naruto's quotes or one of his own. He was running out. He leaned against the frame and shut his eye.

There had been a time when he wasn't sure is Sakura and Naruto would be together. There was a time when… he thought… maybe… just maybe… she was falling in love with him.

_Sakura breathed deeply as she sat slumped on the forest ground. Her tank top forgotten and all that was left was her white sports bra that was soaked in sweat and her black shorts. Kakashi couldn't help but stare as her chest went up and down. "Talk about not going easy on me Kakashi," she laughed before coughing slightly. _

_He smiled as he plopped down right next to her. He was wearing a black skin tight tank top that connected to his mask along with black pants. "Well, you told me not too." He joked. He couldn't help watching her. Her beauty it surrounded him. Took ahold of him. It made him never want to leave her side. _

_It had been close to a year since he realized she wasn't the child he had remembered, but in fact she was a beauty that belonged to the village. That he wanted to belong to him and only him. Sakura gasped in shock when he brushed a piece of her hair from her face. "Kakashi-sensei?" she asked. _

"_I'm not your sensei anymore." He reminded her, his hand cupping her face. _

"_Silly me, I always forget…" she whispered. He felt his heart leap into his chest as he stared down at her plump pink lips. She had taken to being like Tsunade with her light pink lip gloss and always having her finger nails and toe nails painted perfectly. He watched as her beautiful eyes slid shut. _

_He couldn't resist. Not any longer. He moved closer and closer until his masked lips pressed against hers. It wasn't long until Sakura's back was firmly pressed to the ground. Kakashi hovering over her. He pulled back as her eyes slid opened half way. It nearly drove him crazy seeing her like this, under him. It made him feel like he was in one of Jiraya's smut novels. _

"_Why?" she whispered. Why what? He didn't know. There were only a few choice words that he could think of that would perfectly describe what he was feeling at that moment. Her laying under him, wanting him. _

_I love you… _

_The three little words that rang over and over again in his mind. He wanted to say them. Wanted to repeat them out loud. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn't force himself to do it. Instead he lowered himself pressing against her lower half causing her to moan slightly. It drove him crazy, as he nuzzled her neck. _

"_Kakashi," she whispered. "Don't stop." And he didn't. _

Thinking back on it, it reminded him of the day a few weeks ago in this office. And what had stopped it… the same reason as the first. Naruto.

"_We have to stop," Sakura said turning to look away. Kakashi stared down at her form. Her body red from his kisses and from the pleasure and heat that was raging through her body. _

"_Why?" It was his turn to ask this time. _

"_It's not fair to Naruto…" He closed his eyes before standing up. A few hand signs later he was gone. _

It killed him seeing her in so much pain. He wanted nothing more than to be selfish. If she would never had said stop that day, they could have been together. And would be together. But now, he was Hokage. It would be wrong. The whole village would know. He would be with his ex-student. A girl who was fourteen years younger than himself.

Some Hokage he was turning out to be. He sighed and opened his eyes and started out the village. A flash of lightning showed him the village, a crash of thunder. And then finally. The rain.

"I never thought it was worth it," he whispered to himself. "You know waiting for your love…" back than it felt like just a dream. Like kind that would never come true. "And then…. When I felt your kiss…" his stomach had butterflies in it thinking about the last time they had kissed. "I knew I could wait forever…"

**A/N**

**Nice little bit of KakaSaku in this chapter. Along with some comic relief from Sai. Lol Every time I post a new chapter you guys still surprise me with the amount of reviews you give me! Thank you thank you thank you! I'm really happy that so many of you like this :3 Keep up the awesome reviews! **

**-Sakura**


	5. Living In The Past

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Five: Living In The Past**_

Sakura groaned as something tapped her leg bringing her out of her wonderful dreams. Dreams of no war. Of Naruto still being alive and well. "Get up," Sakura groaned again as the person who was yelling at her yanked her blankets off. Sakura searched for her blanket eyes still shut. "I can turn the light on."

"Don't," Sakura mumbled before finally opening her eyes and glaring at the blonde haired devil that stood at the foot of her bed. Sakura glared at the blonde seeing her warm blanket in her hands. "Why did you wake me up pig?" Sakura asked sitting up. She stretched as rubbed her tired eyes before looking at the clock noticing it was still blurry. She rubbed her eyes again. "Ino! It's only six! I don't have to be at the clinic until 11:30!" Sakura groaned before lying back down on the bed.

Ino rolled her eyes before walking to the light switch. She flicked it on and Sakura let out another groan. "Turn the damn light off!" Sakura yelled covering her face with her pillow.

"Well I could do that, or!" Ino smirked evilly. "When the girls get here all three of us will wake you up," Sakura sat up and glared at the blonde.

"You wouldn't," Sakura dared.

"Oh, I think I would. You have an hour to get ready." Ino winked before shutting the door behind her. Sakura glared at the door before finally crawling out of bed. She slowly walked into the bathroom she closed her eyes before turning on the light.

She turned and started at her reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. On the right side of her head her hair was sticking up from not being well kept. Her eyes were swollen and red she could only guess she had been crying in her sleep again. Naruto couldn't blame her for that right? Large purple bags hung under her eyes. Staring at her reflection she almost didn't recognize herself. She slowly shut her eyes before taking off her silk sleep shorts and sitting down on the toilet.

She opened her eyes and started at the vases that sat around her bathroom, not to mention the rest of the house. Three were in this bathroom. THREE!

_To fear love is to fear life. _

_Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. _

_Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks. _

She had them memorized. Every little letter that he left for her she memorized. She shook her head before turning on the shower. She watched as the water fell, sighing she stripped her silk tank top off before climbing into the warm water. Stepping under the water she ran a hand through her hair.

"_You got another one," Ino winked at Sakura as she walked into the apartment. Sakura sighed annoyed. "So when are you going to tell me who the secret boyfriend is?" Ino winked. Sakura glared at her. _

"_My boyfriend," she spat the word. "Died. A month ago," Ino watched sadly as Sakura stormed from the room. Ino flinched when she heard the bedroom door slam shut. She sighed before plopping down at the kitchen table. _

_She reached for the white letter. In her perfect cursive writing she wrote over the letter once more. "I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry blossoms," Ino smiled. She felt something pull at her heart strings when she heard a sob from down the hallway. She closed her eyes and let a single tear fall from her own eyes. She wished there was something, anything she could do for her best friend that would ease the pain._

Sakura whipped back the curtain from the shower before stepping out on the white rug. She grabbed her towel that was hanging up she wrapped it around her body before moving to the mirror. Somehow she still looked foreign to herself. It finally hit her. Her eyes. They were somehow a different color then they had always been. They were darker. They held so much sorrow she almost wanted to cry. She had become a shadow of the girl she had once been.

She tried to swallow down the lump that had come up from her stomach. She quickly squatted down in front of the toilet and let out the remains of what she had eaten for lunch. She groaned as a loud knock echoed through the room. "Sakura? Sakura! Are you okay?"

"Fine!" she answered quickly reaching up she flushed the toilet. "Just fine," She repeated herself as she moved from the toilet and to the sink. She turned on the water before sticking her head under it. She rinsed out her mouth before brushing her teeth.

"Okay, well hurry up you have thirty minutes left," Ino reminded her. Sakura nodded. After she finished brushing her teeth she looked up at her reflection once more. She let out a slow shaky breath before running a hand through her hair. She brushed it quickly before leaving the room. Deciding that she didn't need make up.

Taking slow easy steps she walked down the hallway and back to her room where the light was still on. Moving to the wardrobe she opened and grabbed a red long sleeved shirt and a pair of black pants. She tossed them on the bed before moving to her underwear drawer. Opening it she grabbed a plain tan bra and a pair of pink underwear. Not even bothering to match. She changed quickly before giving herself on more look in her mirror.

The feeling of needing to throw up washed over her. This time she forced it down. She slowly walked out into the kitchen. It was covered with those damn vases that Kakashi continued to send her. "When will the girls be here?"

A knock on their door answered Sakura's question. Ino walked to the door and opened it. On the other side Tenten and Hinata walked in. Both waved at Sakura.

"How's it going?" Tenten asked, before she stood shocked at the flowers. "Damn Ino! I didn't realize how much Sai was into you."

Ino smiled. "They're not from Sai—"

"You have another guy too!" Tenten said. "and I can't even get Neji to do more than train with me!" she sighed.

Ino laughed. "No no no, it's not like that. They're to Sakura. From her secret admirer." Ino winked.

"Ohh!" Tenten smiled at Sakura. Sakura rolled her eyes before grabbing her white medical coat that sat by the door.

"Let's go, I don't want to talk about this," she said before slipping on her black heels. The four girls left the apartment before walking down the street. Sakura walked ahead of the group just wanting this day to be over.

"Sakura-chan?" Sakura looked over to see Hinata. "I know you probably get asked this a lot… but are you okay? I mean… really, are you okay?" Sakura stared at her for a moment before looking down at her feet. Dirt from the road was already collecting on her unmanicured feet. She bit the inside of her lip. Was she okay? She cried in her sleep. She was throwing up just looking at herself. And the only team member she had left felt the need to send her fucking flowers every day. No. She wasn't okay.

"Yeah I'm fine," Sakura smiled that fake smile. The one she had perfected when Sasuke had first left. The one that only a select few could see through. Hinata nodded happy with her answer.

"So how is she really?" Tenten asked once she was sure that Sakura couldn't hear them.

Ino looked into Tenten's chocolate eyes. The hurt in her own blue ones told it all. "I don't know," Ino said biting her lip. "Some days she doesn't even leave her room. I've asked Moegi what she's like at the clinic she says she's fine," Ino clinched her fist. "She cries in her sleep. Sometimes she sobs so loud it wakes me up," Tenten stared at her wide eyed. "And lately… she never eats, ever. Today she went to make instant ramen and had a break down in the kitchen. I mean… I understand it's hard. But… it's been three months."

"It's good that you got her out. At least we can make sure she eats tonight," Ino nodded.

"Hurry up you two slow pokes!" Sakura called to them. Her and Hinata were already standing outside the BBQ shop. Ino and Tenten sprinted slightly to meet up with them.

"Hi table for?" the waitress asked.

"Four," Sakura said.

"Six," Ino chimed in. Sakura looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Who else could be coming? Sakura jumped slightly feeling a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to meet the honey eyes of Tsunade.

"Thought you could have a girls night without me, eh?" she smiled. The six girls followed there waitress to their table.

"I'm so glad you could join us tonight Tsunade-sama, Shizune." Ino said once the girls were settled and had already ordered their food. Sakura stared at her glass not paying any attention to the conversation that was going on.

"Of course we wouldn't have missed it for the world!" Shizune smiled. "I'm just glad I have some time to sit. Kakashi-sama certainly has me running around—"

"Kakashi?" The girls instantly got quite when Sakura's voice came out. "How is he?"

Shizune sat shocked for a moment before coming to her senses. "He's good, busy. This week we're going over a list of candidates to be his new secretary so I can go back to the hospital."

Sakura nodded before turning back to her glass. "Oh look! The food is here!" Ino smiled grabbing the plate of raw meat from the waitress. Ino and Tenten went to quick work at cooking the food and soon there was a full plate in front of everyone.

Honey eyes watched as Sakura picked around her food. Saying she was worried for her apprentice was an understatement. When Ino had come to her earlier that week saying that there was something wrong with Sakura she didn't want to believe it. Tsunade knew as well as anyone what it was like to lose a loved one, and it killed her to think that Sakura was digging herself into that depression. Tsunade gripped her chopsticks tighter causing them to snap in half.

The whole table turned and looked at her, except for Sakura who was still trying to push her good around her plate. "Tsunade-sama?" Ino and Shizune said looking up at the blonde haired woman. Honey eyes didn't even look back at the two who had said her name. Her eyes were focused on the pinkette that sat in front of her.

"Sakura," said girl looked up to meet Tsunade's glare. "Eat your food."

Sakura glared back. "I'm not hungry."

Tsunade slammed her hand down on the table causing everyone to jump except Sakura who continued to stare back at the woman. "Do you not see what you're doing to yourself!" she yelled. Sakura looked down at her hands. Tsunade reached across the table and grabbed the girls arm. "You're wearing long sleeved shirts," she pulled up the sleeve to revival what looked like skin a bone. "To hide this." Sakura ripped her hand out of Tsunade's grasp.

"There's nothing wrong with me!" She yelled. "I'm fine!"

"Are you? Cause you don't look fine! In fact I'm sure if Naruto was here he'd be worried."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Sakura yelled standing up. "Don't say his name! I'm sick of you all talking like you know! You don't know anything!"

Sakura froze when she was slammed into the wooden wall that sat behind her. Green eyes met honey. "I know exactly what it's like." Tsuande whispered. "And if you don't get better soon, I will. I repeat. I will admit you into the hospital." Sakura pulled her hand from Tsunade's grip.

"I hate you," she whispered. Her eyes drifted down to Ino.

"Sakura I—"

"I hate you Ino. I hate you." Sakura said, she brushed past the group of women. Ino swallowed hard trying to fight back her tears.

"I just—"

"Don't worry Ino, you did the right thing." Tenten assured her. Tears fell from the blondes eyes.

"Shizune, I need you to watch the clinic. Ino…" Tsuande looked down at her. "I think she needs that letter now."

**A/N**

**Got a little teary eyed writing this chapter. Only a few more chapters that are going to be super sad and then we'll be getting to the part of the fic that leads up to where Sakura was at the beginning of the story. ****A few of you are a little confused on if it's Naruto or Kakashi's I saw from reviews So let me clear a few things up. In the first chapter when Sakura finds out she's pregnant she asks when it began? Then it moves to a year before the time when she first got pregnant. So it's not Naruto's. I really hate myself for killing off Naruto since he's one of my favorite characters but oh well. Every time I updated I'm so stoked to see how many of you read and continue to review! Thanks again for all of you! I loved writing and it makes me super happy to see that so many of you like reading what I write :) Well enough with the rambling lol. Thanks again!**


	6. Strong For Too Long

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple.**

_**Chapter Six: Strong For Too Long.**_

"_Sakura, from the moment I first laid eyes on you… I knew. I knew right then and there that you were the one. From your ill temper and the way that you always glared at me, how could you not? I would have given anything in the world for you to see me more than just some annoying brat. Than my wish came true. You told me you loved me. I don't think I had ever been as happy as I was that day. You really were the most important thing to me in my life. I would spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you were happy. _

If you're reading this… than that means that I can't be there anymore to make you happy. I never meant to hurt you but I need you to understand that if I had a chance to do this over, die again to protect our village, to protect you. I would do it. Another reason you are reading this means that Ino believes that you aren't healthy. Everyone has a reason to morn. It's normal. But you obviously have taken it to another level and I can't let you do that. I gave up my life so you could grow old and happy. Not for you to sit in your room and cry. I won't let you."

_Naruto sighed before sitting back from the letter that he was writing. It was by far his hardest task in his life. How was he supposed to know what to say? How would he know… He leaned forward and brought his pen back to the paper. _

"_I know, I know what happened between you and Kakashi-sensei while I was gone. Don't be ashamed of yourself," _

_Naruto clinched and unclenched his fist. It did bother him slightly to think that Kakashi had kissed her, maybe even done more. He took in a deep breath to calm himself. _

"_Kakashi is a great man. You deserve someone like him to take care of you. Watch over you. Don't deny it Sakura-chan. I know how hard headed you can be when it comes to these kind of things. I can see it when you look at him, he loves you just as much as I do, and I want you to be happy. Be happy for me. Be happy for yourself." _

_He leaned back in his seat before popping his back. With a sigh he picked up the paper and read it over. This was the fifth time he had written this and it would be the last. Whatever came, came. _

"_Every day Kakashi will sends you a vase of tulips… their not only from him but from me as well. Each quote was handpicked by me. Once my quotes run out Kakashi will send you his own. I'm sure that by the time that happens you and him will be very happy together. He loves you Sakura… please, please be happy."_

_He skipped a few lines down on the paper. _

"_P.S. I love you." _

_He placed the pen down on the table. Standing up he folded the paper before tucking it away safely in an envelope. He licked the edges and sealed it shut. Placing it down one the table he picked up the pen. _

"_To: Sakura my love" _

_He smiled down at it. Finally content with it. He picked it up and walked out of the room to find Ino. _

XXX

That was it. He snapped. Never in his life had he been so angry. Kakashi let out a yell before gripping his desk he picked it up and flung it across the room. His papers few everywhere. He dropped to his knees. Never in his life had he felt so hopeless, so broken, like he'd been strong for too long. He had lot two teammates… again. He had lost his students. And yet here he was emotionally broken yet chosen to be the next Hokage.

He brought his forehead to the floor. He pounded his fist a few times against the concert foundation. "Where is she?" he said through clenched teeth.

Tsunade and Ino stood in front of Kakashi. Tsuande was slightly shocked by his outburst of emotions. But Ino was another matter. The young blonde was frozen in her spot still shaking at the amount of power the older man had. Ino gulped in her hands she gripped Naruto's letter tightly.

"We don't know," Tsunade said realizing that Ino was too scared to answer.

"Damn it," He growled before hitting the floor again. A small hole was becoming more and more noticeable with every hit. "What happened?" He looked up to meet the woman's eyes. Tsuande just stared at him while Ino jumped.

"I…," the younger blonde stumbled over her words. "I… was given a letter… from Naruto…" Kakashi stood long strides until he stood right in front of her. "She read it… than just took off. We haven't been able to find her since then. She's not health Kakashi…" Kakashi glared at her.

"Give it to me." His voice came out harsh making both woman jump. Ino slowly reached out to hand him the letter. Kakashi took a deep breath before reaching out and grasping it. His stomach tightened. Who knew a piece of paper could make him sicker than he had ever felt in his life. He had to force himself to swallow the stomach bile that was rising. He let out a shaky breath before opening.

_The pinkette shivered as the cool night air rushed past the two. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there. Her back was so close to his chest she could feel his warmth. She could even smell the scent of ramen that seemed to linger on the boy who stood behind her. She wasn't even sure what she had let him put her in this position. But there was just something about his voice that had made her do it._

"Shh… Sakura-chan, it's just me…"

_She hadn't even realized that he had been watching her train until her was right behind her. She had almost wanted to turn around and punch the daylights out of him. With all that had happened in the past few months, the invasion of the village, finding out that Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki._

_She wanted to turn and face him but knew that it would do no good since tied around her eyes was a blind fold. She shivered again this time do to his fingers dancing across her bare shoulder._

_"What are you—"_

_"Shh…" she stopped mid-sentence. She closed her eyes from behind the blind fold. There was no point in keeping them opened, it wasn't like she could see anything. She gasped feeling warm lips gentle kiss her neck._

_This normally being something she would have clobbered the boy for she was unsure as to why she didn't. And that's when he said it, or more whispered it._

_"I can show you that there is more to life than Sasuke," he whispered into the shell of her ear. Never in her life had she ever felt so many emotions in her life. She was scared, excited, nervous. She stood in the middle of the dark field shell shocked._

_"W-what did you say?" she hardly recognized her voice as it came out in a whisper. For a moment she almost thought he hadn't heard her until warm loving arms wrapped around her. She had never really been aware at how tall he had grown until her rested his head on her shoulder._

_"I said, I can show you that there is more to life than Sasuke," he repeated himself._

_"N-Naruto…" she turned slightly trying to face him. He loosened his hold on her slightly so she could. His hands rested on her slim waist. She slowly reached up and pulled down the blind fold to find that it was really Naruto's head band. The headband dropped down and stayed around her neck._

_Her eyes slowly moved from his chest, where the 1st necklace sat. She stopped when her viridian eyes landed on his cerulean ones. The breath that she had taken in was forcefully knocked out of her. Never in her life had she seen someone look at her with such admiration. She reached her hand up and cupped his check._

_He then brought his own hand up and grasped hers in his hand. She watched amazed as he moved her hand to his mouth and kissed it lightly. The slight blush that had formed on her face was now at full force making her like somewhat like a tomato._

_Naruto smiled at her. "What a lovely forehead you have," her eyes widened. "It makes me want to kiss it."_

_Her heart skipped a beat. How would Naruto know-? Her eyes widened as realization hit her full force. "It was you," she whispered. He nodded. "It was always you."_

_She bit her lip, she couldn't bring herself to look away from the blonde. She had wasted the whole day crying over Sasuke and now she stood in front of someone, no not someone, Uzumaki Naruto was far from just someone. She slumped her head forward and gripped the boy's jacket in her hand. "I'm scared," she whispered._

_Naruto smiled lightly and pulled her to him. Sakura sighed in contentment as Naruto's hand stroked her hair. This was so nice. So simple. Something that should have been happening all her life. Her whole life she could have had this, this warmth, this… this love that he was willing to give her._

_"Yes," she said quickly before sitting up. Naruto started at her questioningly. Yes? Yes to what? "Yes," she repeated herself again. This was it. This was what she had wanted her whole life. What she deserved. She was so stupid not to see it before._

_"Yes to what?" Naruto asked searching her face for her random outburst._

_"Yes," she said once more before her eyes locked onto his. "There is more to life than Sasuke…" she whispered. Naruto stared down at her unsure of what to do now. When he had jumped down and put his head band around her eyes he expected her to punch the daylights out of him, not… not this. "There's you."_

_"What?" he felt like an idiot for his random outburst. He had done so good keeping himself calm cool and collected this whole time and here he was asking 'what' like a total idiot. Sakura giggled before looking up at him a smile on her face._

_"Uzumaki Naruto," he looked down at her unsure of what to do. "Show me what there is to life," she whispered moving closer to him pressing her body to his. Naruto swallowed before a large grin spread across his face. His arms quickly wrapped around her waist. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers and relished in the warmth the spread through his body._

Sakura sobbed and sobbed. Letting out all the tears that she had refused to cry since his death four months prior. "Why Naruto! Why!" she screamed. She sat in the middle of his messy apartment. She couldn't bring herself to enter the house since they had gotten back. The whole place smelt like him. All of his shirts were thrown around and she could picture him telling her he would pick up in the morning.

She gripped the dirty shirt that sat closest to her. She hugged it to her chest and let it dry her tears almost as if he was there to do it for her. "I miss you so much," she whispered to the dark room. "Why did you have to go and be so perfect?" she whispered. She gripped her eyes tightly. How could he expect her to move on? To just forget that everything that they had had never happened. She sniffled trying to get some air in.

Sakura turned around quickly to see Kakashi standing behind her. His eye focused on the picture frame that she knew held the picture of the original team seven. She had spent many times staring at it when she came to visit. But now she found herself staring at the man who could help her. The only person who could really truly understand what was wrong with her. Who could help her.

"You know…" he started. "I learned not to be picky with farewells," his voice was no more than a whispered. "They weren't guaranteed or promised," she watched as his fist clenched tightly. "You were lucky, more like blessed, if you got a goodbye at all."

Sakura nodded. She knew what he was getting at. She had gotten that. She had gotten that goodbye from Naruto. He had died knowing he meant the world to her. He had loved her until the very end. Her throat tightened slightly not only for herself and missing her love but also for Kakashi and remembering his stories of all the ones he had lost. Many he never got that chance. To say goodbye too.

She bit her lip she didn't want to cry in front of him. She wanted him to think she was okay. That she would be fine by the morning lights. "Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered. It cut her like a knife. The sound of his voice. It sounded like she had betrayed him by not talking to him. By not letting him when he was hurting as well.

"Sometimes…" her voice came out horse from her crying. "It seems safer to hold it all in… where the only person who can judge is yourself…" He nodded knowing all too well what she meant. He sighed before moving to sit next to her on the dirty ground.

"I read the letter," she tensed slightly trying not to look at him. He sighed before rubbing his hand through his hair. "My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise. I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry blossoms. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart. " He whispered. Her eyes widened. "All of those are from me, Tomorrow's… Love is what you've been through with someone," his warm breath was on her face and she tried not to like it as much as she did.

He laughed slightly. "You know what was going through my mind since I read that letter?" she looked up at him waiting for his answer. "I thought to myself… 'who cares…' I was so scared to lose someone again I was ready to just give up. Give up on everything. And then you know what my heart said to me. My heart said 'you do stupid.' And I knew I had to find you. Sakura, I had to find you. I have to make sure your fine. Not because of a promise I made with Naruto… but because it's true. What the letter said was true. I love you."

The dam she had built came falling down all at once and her eyes over flowed with tears. Those three words. If he would have said them to her a long time ago she probably would have been with him. She moved forward and clung to his chest. She let out loud sobs. She needed this. She had been strong for too long and now, finally she could let go. She could let him go. She could let go of Naruto and know he would want her to do this. To be happy. To love.

With trembling hands she reached up slowly. She hooked a finger into the hem of Kakashi's mask, she looked into his one visible eyes to make sure this was okay. That they would be okay. That everything would be okay. His eyes said it all. She slowly lowered his mask inch by inch. Centimeter by centimeter until the mask pooled around his neck and she stared at his beautiful face. She almost felt her breath leave her lungs.

She reached up and removed his leaf head band until all that stood in front of her was a man. A man she so desperately loved and needed. She let out a shaky breath her eyes closing for a moment. She asked herself. Was this what she wanted? Could she do this?

Yes. She opened her viridian eyes until they landed on the mismatched eyes. She smiled moving closer and closer. Her eyes slid shut when a warm hand cupped her cheek. And then, there it was. That spark. The overwhelming heat that surged through her body. She was in love. She would be okay. She would be more than okay.

**A/N**

**Jezz… this chapter nearly killed me. One because it's a lot longer then I normally right. And Two because my husband's in the military we've had this conversation about how if he dies while overseas I have to move on and be happy. So it kinda got to me. **

**Also you guys man have notice that the long flashback between Naruto and Sakura was one of my oneshots 'More To Life' I just thought it fit perfectly so I used it :D**

**Anyway I hope this chapter was everything you guys were hoping and waiting for. I don't know if I'm going to have a chance to update again until after my vacation because I have a lot of fics to update. And I'm writing a Christmas fic soooo…. Yeah. Please review! Reviews really keep me going. I'm always excited when I see how many reviews this fic has you guys are awesome! Keep it up!**

_**IMPORTANT! POLL UP ON MY PROFILE FOR THE CHIRSTMAS FIC I'M WRITING! GO VOTE! THANK YOU!**_


	7. Thank God For Sai

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Seven: Thank God For Sai**_

Green eyes cracked open. The owner of the green eyes groaned in pain as the light of day hit her tired and sore eyes. Her head had a pounding in it she was sure would never stop, not to mention how sore her eyes were from crying. She rolled over in the comfortable bed. Bed? She looked around the unfamiliar bedroom. She sat up with some effort and looked around the room. The first thing she realized was that she was in the home of the Hokage.

The room looked a lot different from the last time she had been in the building. The room that had once been a mess filled with medical scrolls and whatever else Tsunade had was now extremely clean and tidy. Everything was put in a simple yet perfect place. This was diffidently Kakashi's home. She looked down at her hands examining her body. She never realized how skinny she had gotten. Not until last night did she realize how unhealthy she was.

She moved the sheets from herself, she smiled hugging herself. The scent of Kakashi surrounded her and comforted her. Her smile only widened when she realized she was wearing one of his long sleeve shirts. She moved her legs out from underneath her and onto the wooden cold wooden floor. Now she remembered why she was wearing a long sleeved shirt. She surveyed the room taking in everything from the plain gray window curtains to the well placed book shelf.

It was then that her eyes landed on the dresser and to the picture frames that sat on top of them. She took a few steps until she stood in front of the picture frames. The first one she looked at was of course the picture of his first team. Her eyes wondered over his old teammates faces trying to memorize them. She looked at Minato and bit her lip. Naruto did look so much like his father. She looked away from the picture and to the second one. Team seven.

She smiled sadly. It was so hard to believe that it was all over. That all the fighting was done. That Sasuke had finally been brought back to the village even if it was in a casket. She laughed slightly at the angry faces of Naruto and Sasuke. She sighed when she stared at herself. She had changed so much from that little twelve year old. To think that picture was only taken five years ago. She closed her eyes and moved away from the dresser. Taking another look around the room she couldn't help thinking…

_I fit in here…_

She walked out of the bedroom and down the hallway to the kitchen. What she saw shocked her. Sitting on the kitchen table as if waiting for her was her vase of tulips. She smiled walking over to it. Picking up the white note.

"Love is what you've been though with someone," she whispered. She placed the note down on the table before moving forward to smell the tulips. It was strange. Feeling like everything was okay. It had been just yesterday that everything had fallen apart. But he… Kakashi… he put her back together like it was nothing. Like it was what he was made to do. She ran a hand through her hair before deciding she should take a shower before leaving.

She made her way back down the hallway and to the back bathroom. She smiled when she found her clothes from yesterday washed and folded waiting for her on the counter. She froze. This was it. This would be the one thing that would tell her if she was really okay. She turned to face herself in the mirror. Her eyes widened at what she saw. Had she really let herself get so sick?

She almost didn't even recognize herself. If anything she looked like the shadow that used to be Haruno Sakura. She looked away from her body and finally to her eyes. Where she stared at herself for a long while. It was there. That spark she had felt the night before. The life. She was alive. She smiled as tears fell from her eyes. She was getting better. She let out a sob/laugh. She covered her mouth. "Thank you," she whispered to herself.

After her shower she changed into her long sleeve red shirt and black pants. She walked to the front door stepping outside she quickly stepped back in. There was no way she was dealing with that September air without a jacket. She walked back into Kakashi's room to search for a jacket that didn't scream Kakashi. She sighed in relief when she found a plain black sweater that she was sure she had never seen the older man wear. Once she threw that over her head she decided that she could handle the cold.

It wasn't until she was outside did she think to where she was going. She didn't want to go back to her apartment in fear that Ino would be there. She wasn't ready to face her blonde best friend. Not after all that she had put her though. Sakura felt awful for what she had said to the blonde the other night during dinner. All Ino was trying to do was help her. So instead of heading towards her apartment or to anywhere in particular she just continued to walk.

She finally came to a stop at the one place she never thought she would come to. She stood facing Ichiraku. It took her a minute before her stomach growled at her and she forced herself inside the smaller booth. Once she entered she wanted to turn around and leave. What was she doing! She wasn't ready for this. She certainly couldn't do this alone.

She turned around ready to leave but stopped because she ran into a solid chest. She looked up to find Kakashi's smiling down at her. "Would you like to have lunch with me Sakura?" Relief washed over her hearing his voice. Knowing that he was there with her. She smiled.

"Yes," her stomach growled loudly. She made a face before grabbing her stomach. She laughed awkwardly. She didn't realize how hungry she was. "I'm starving," Kakashi smiled at her before the two sat down at the booth.

"I'll take a miso ramen," Sakura said.

"Beef for me," Kakashi said. The two sat in a comfortable silence before the food was delivered to them. Kakashi watched Sakura intently, unsure if she was really going to eat. Sakura gave him an annoyed look before grabbing a pair of chop sticks. She took a large bit before shoving it in her mouth. She waited until the first bit was down before sticking her tongue out him.

"See I'm eating. Stop worrying," she said. Kakashi chuckled.

"I'm always going to worry," he said. Sakura looked at him questioningly.

"Why?"

_Because I love you… _he didn't even have to say it. It was written all over her face… er… well eye. Sakura rolled her eyes before moving to eat the rest of her ramen a smile on her face. It was nice… it was nice to have him. She side glanced at him in hopes to get a look at his face once more but instead she found him watching her. She looked away with a large blush on her face.

XXX

Sakura stared at her apartment door. She had been avoiding home all day and now she was here. She was terrified to go inside and face Ino. What if the other girls had stayed with her and they were still here? She didn't know if she could face everyone. She was more terrified to see Tsunade then anyone. The pinkette sighed before sticking her key in the hole. She heard the familiar click as the door unlocked. She pushed the door opened to find that Ino was already on the other side of the door.

Ino's face was red a puffy from tears and it killed Sakura to know that she was the reason for the tears. She had hurt her best friend who only wanted to help her. Green eyes moved to look at Sai who was standing not far behind Ino. "Hey…" Sakura said quietly. She didn't know how to handle this kind of thing. Sakura didn't get the chance to shut the door before she was engulfed in a bone crushing hug.

"I'm so sorry Sakura! Please don't hate me anymore! I just wanted to help you! You're my best friend! I love you! Please don't hate me," Sakura stared at Sai who was watching them. She could hear Ino's sobs. Sakura wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"I don't hate you. I didn't mean those words I said," Sakura whispered pulling her friend closer to her and letting her own tears fall. "I'm sorry Ino for doing that to you," Sakura said pulling away so she could look at her friend. Ino sighed in relief.

"I was so worried about you. I was scared I was going to lose you!" Ino cried. Sakura smiled.

"You won't lose me promise," Sakura said. Ino smiled before hugging Sakura again. After the two girls pulled away from their touching moment they found Sai watching them intently while writing furiously in one of his note books.

"Uh… honey?" Ino asked. Sai held up a finger to her as if to tell her one minute. He continued writing and finally shut the book a large grin on his face.

"I think I finally figured it out!" He smiled widely almost freaking out the two girls who were watching them.

"Figured what out?" Ino asked. Ino glanced to Sakura as if looking for help. Sakura's eyes widened as Sai latched himself on to Ino.

"I'm so sorry! Please don't be angry at me for peeing with the door open! I promise I won't do it ever again!"

Oh yeah… thank god for Sai…

**A/N**

**As promised Chapter for chapter ;) You guys can thank Beautifulinsanelove for asking me to update this by her updating her fic War Ordered Bride. Which I'm like madly in love with lol. **

**So I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. Like I said the next chapters are going to be light hearted and have quite a bit of romance since I'm going to be building up Kakashi and Sakura's relationship. Along with Ino and Sai lol. Got to love Sai. He is by far one of my favorite characters. But… anyway! Thanks for all the reviews that you guys keep giving! I love them! **

**I also have a KakashiSakura Christmas fic out. So check that out if you guys want. **

**I do have a bit of sad news I won't be able to update again until after January 4****th****. I will be going on vacation funnnnn…. I'm dreading it lol. But I'm sure I'll live. I might try to bust out another chapter but don't get your hopes up because I have a bunch of other fics I have to update before I leave too. So…. Yeah… **

**Thank you again! For all of you who read and review. It means a lot to me that you enjoy this! Thank you thank you thank you!**


	8. For The First Time

**Quick warning there is a LEMON in this chapter. It is rated M for a reason!**

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Eight: For The First Time**_

Kakashi smiled as small hands cupped his eyes making it so he could no longer read the scroll that was laid out in front of him. He couldn't be sure but with the scent of strawberries in the air he could only think that those small little hands belonged to Haruno Sakura. Kakashi moved quickly grabbing the slim waist on the pinkette and swung her around easily until she was sitting on his lap and his lips were on hers.

It had been a little over a week since everything had turned from a nightmare and into the most wonderful dream he had ever had, and he could only hope that this dream would never end. He pulled away from her lips to look at the clock that was set up in his home office. _12:03 _

Sakura tightened her hold on the older man and pulled her body closer to him. She loved being near him, feeling his warmth, feeling his love. He made her feel like the most special person in the whole world. "Happy birthday," she whispered before leaning back to get a good look at his face. Over the week Kakashi had become accustomed to being around Sakura without his mask on.

"Thank you," Kakashi smiled before wrapping pulling her up slightly and better angled her onto his lap. Sakura giggled as the man stood up from his desk, her legs wrapped around his midsection and he moved away from the desk. "So what is my birthday present?" Kakashi asked, a smile in his voice as he walked them down the darkened hallway.

Sakura laughed as Kakashi bent down and placed slow kisses on her neck. "Well what would Hokage-sama want?" Sakura asked leaning back and giving Kakashi a coy smile. A soft chuckle escaped Kakashi's lips. Sakura let out a light scream when she was thrown across the darkened room. Sakura landed on the soft bed, as she tried to sit up Kakashi grabbed her legs and pulled her back down so she was on her back. Before she could laugh her mouth was covered.

Kakashi growled in the back of his throat, his hands wondered up Sakura's bare thighs until his hands reached her waist as he lifted her up to meet him. The fire that had been slowly building inside him since the moment she had placed her hands on his eyes we driving him over the edge. Every breath was filled with the wonderful smell of strawberries. He slowly brought his hands up from her waist to cup her neck the feel of her quickened pulse of her heart. He slowly closed his eyes before leaning down and kissing that pulse.

Sakura sighed in contents as Kakashi kissed her neck. With trembling hands she reached up and removed the black jacket the man was wearing leaving his chest bare for her hands to explore. Kakashi sat up only long enough to remove the shirt that Sakura had been wearing. His rough hands ran up and down her bare sides until finally tangling into her hair. He pulled her up and kissed her again. Nothing could get better than this.

Sakura bucked her hips up and groaned at the feel of Kakashi above her. Kakashi let out a loud growl before pushing her hips back down onto the bed. His lips left hers and she slowly made his way down her body until he met her underwear. Sakura brought her hands up and gripped the side of his head. Kakashi moved down further kissing her heat through her underwear causing Sakura to buck her hips once more. Kakashi chuckled.

"Stop teasing me," Sakura said through a moan. Before Sakura could make another protest Kakashi had pulled her underwear off and she was pulled into another intense kiss. Sakura gasped as he ran a finger up her slit and then groaned loudly, throwing her head back when he rubbed her clit. Sakura let out a shaky breath almost panting as he continued to rub her clit.

Kakashi pulled his hand away and before Sakura could make another protest she had been completely filled causing the pinkette to let out a loud moan. Kakashi buried his face into her neck and enjoyed the feeling of being surrounded. Sakura's legs wrapped around him and pulled him closer. Kakashi moved enjoying his birthday present until he was pushed over and thrown onto his back.

His hands were pushed above his head were Sakura held him. She smiled wickedly before moving up and down slowly causing the man under her to groan. She bent down slowly still rocking her hips and kissed him passionately. Kakashi moaned again trying not to lose himself completely in the woman he loved but she made it so hard. He threw his head back as the kunoichi finally moved faster. It wouldn't much longer for him that he could handle her.

Sakura threw her head back and a loud moan escaped her lips before she was pushed over and thrown onto her back. "Hey!" she tried to yell back in protest but Kakashi pounded into her and her voice was lost. Kakashi grunted as he moved in and out of her. Sakura's mind was lost from her and her hands grabbed onto Kakashi's back, her nails digging into his back.

"Come for me," he grunted into her ear and like magic she shouted out his name, her walls clamping down around him. He came, grasping her hips and slamming them into his own as he let her name fall from his lips. The two sat in silence for a few moments the only sound was their staggered breaths and the pounding of their hearts.

Kakashi pulled out of her slowly before rolling over to lay on his back. He pulled Sakura that she laid her head on his chest. Sakura took a few deep breaths before looking up at Kakashi a smile on her face. "Happy birthday," Kakashi chuckled before pulling the pinkette closer to him. He buried his nose in her hair before slowly shutting his eyes. Paper work could wait until the morning.

When Kakashi's eyes opened from the morning sun that was shining onto his bed. He groaned before rolling over he sighed finding her side of the bed empty aside from a little piece of paper. He sat up rubbing his hand over his face getting rid of the sleep that had gathered. He picked up the note and read:

_Sorry I couldn't sleep in with you, a lot to do today. I have a surprise for you later ;)_

Kakashi smiled, well if this surprise was going to be as awesome as last night's surprise he couldn't wait.

XXX

Sakura smiled brightly as she walked down the busy morning street. In her hand was a brown paper bag that was filled to the top with food that she would need for tonight. It wasn't long until she found herself home and standing in the kitchen preparing food for the evening. She had already sent out invitations to all the guests a week ago.

"Hey Forehead," Sakura looked up to see Ino walk into the room. The blonde was wearing a large black shirt that Sakura was sure belonged to Sai.

"Morning Pig," Sakura smiled. It had been a little rough at the beginning of the week. It wasn't like the two of them had never fought before. After all they were Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino. It was just the last time they had gotten into a fight the two hadn't talked for years. Thankfully everything was back to normal and that made the two very happy.

"So when does this shindig start?" Ino asked jumping up on the counter and taking an apple out of the fruit basket.

"Well I told everyone to be here by six, I'm leaving at six to go get Kakashi from the Hokage tower," Sakura smiled. Ino nodded before taking a bite of her apple.

"Okay, well that'll give me plenty of time to get ready. I'm gonna go check on the clinic in an hour or so… if you want to come?"

The clinic had been a sore spot for Sakura since she had come out of her funk. The pinkette had been so angry at herself for how she acted she was so embarrassed that she was still scared to talk to Tsunade and Shizune. Sakura opened the refrigerator to place a tray in it. Stand up she smiled and closed the door. "I… I'd like that," she said.

If she continued to feel sorry for her self nothing Kakashi had done for her would matter. She needed to want to make her self better for it to actually happen. "I'm gonna go change and then we can go," Sakura said before leaving the room. Ino smiled before jumping down from the counter. She threw away what was left of her apple. There was the Sakura that she knew.

Sakura smiled at her reflection in the mirror. A real smile not the kind she could fake. She pulled on a clean shit over her head and brushed her hair. For the first time in a long time she felt like herself. Not some little girl pinning over Sasuke, not a sad remorseful girl who had lost her love and best friend. She was Haruno Sakura.

**A/N**

**First and foremost I am so so so sorry how long it took for me to update. I have been crazy busy since I got back from vacation. I got a puppy and let me tell you it's like having a baby. Anyway I hope you guys liked the chapter. Sorry about it really kind of being a filler chapter. **

**Okay! Now a few announcements!**

**My good friend **_Beautifulinsanelove_** has written a fanfic that's based off of this one if you guys want to read it which I highly encourage you to! **

**Second we hit 100 reviews! Super awesome! You guys are awesome!**

**So everyone keep up the awesome reading and reviews! Thanks again for reading!**


	9. Her World

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

**_Chapter Nine: Her World. _  
><strong>

She had walked on this street many times in her life. And for the first time she was dreading the walk. She dreaded it as she walked it. She wasn't exactly sure what it was that had made the overwhelming feeling that was in her stomach. It just continued to sink further and further down. Maybe it was because this was another new step in her stages of recovery. She wasn't sure if that was the only reason but it was defiantly one of the reasons. She was also scared to see Shizune... or even Tsunade. She hadn't exactly apologized to either since her little out burst. She had only had the pride to apologize to Ino. She still hadn't even seen Hinata or Tenten.

"Forehead?" Sakura looked up to meet worried blue eyes. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Sakura looked away from Ino to find that they were standing in front of the clinic. The Uzumaki Naruto Emergency Clinic. She took in a deep breath, shaking while she did so.

"You know you don't have to come in if-" Sakura took a step forward. She looked down at her feet for a moment. Her toes were perfectly done and she was wearing a clean pair of black high heels. She looked up making sure her hair didn't cover her face. She didn't have to be ashamed of anything anymore. In fact she never had anything to be ashamed of. She didn't need to keep it in anymore. She never would have to anymore. Because these people... everyone here loved her even when she didn't think she was loveable. She looked down at her red painted finger nails as she gripped the door before pushing it open.

A small smile graced her lips when the two medic's in training who were working the day shift stood up automatically. "Good afternoon Sakura-san," the two said. Sakura smiled politely before continuing her walk down the hallway and to the elevator. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding when she finally entered the elevator and the doors had shut once Ino had joined her. Sakura jumped slightly when she felt Ino's naturally cold hand grasp her's. Sakura smiled before squeezing her hand in Ino's, before the blonde let her hand go and the door opened.

With steady steps Sakura stepped out of the elevator and made her way down the hallway to where her office was. What Ino had planned on doing was signing a few papers that needed to be finished before being sent out to the Hokage. "If you want Ino I can handle it," Sakura said. Ino smiled.

"Alright Forehead. I'm gonna go check in with Shizune. If you want you can come join us when you're done," Sakura nodded at Ino's words. Sakura watched her blonde best friend walk down the hallway before entering her office. She let out a sigh as she turned on the light. Her eyes wondered over all the papers that were scattered around her desk. Her book shelf sat the way it had always been, just slightly more dusty. Moving the few feet to her desk she sat down before going to work at all the paperwork she had neglected over the past week.

She looked up from her papers to look at the picture that sat staring at her. It was an old picture. One of the oldest pictures she owned. But it was of course the most important picture she owned. She picked it up bring it closer to examine it. In the picture Kakashi was smiling at the photographer. Naruto was glaring at Sasuke and Sasuke was of course glaring back. And herself sat in the middle of the two boys a smile on her face. She smiled slightly at how simple things had been back then. Back before everything changed. She closed her eyes before setting it back down on the desk.

She looked back down to reading the paperwork that she needed to bring to Kakashi by the end of the day. She signed it and dated it before placing it in a safe folder. She stood up and made her way to the door. Turning the light off as she went. She walked down the hallway to where Ino's office was and took a deep breath in before walking in. "Hey," she said shyly noticing that Shizune was there. Shizune smiled back.

"How are you Sakura?" Shizune asked.

Sakura took in a deep breath. She almost said 'Fine' right away since it had become a habit but she stopped herself. How was she exactly? She knew she was better. She was eating again. She was able to smile without forcing it. But how exactly was she. Sakura smiled lightly before opening her mouth. "I'm better, getting back to the good."

Shizune smiled happy that Sakura wasn't pushing them away anymore. "Good,"

* * *

><p>"Surprise!"<p>

Sakura smile widened as everyone jumped out of their hiding place to surprise their wonderful Hokage. Kakashi smiled polietly not being one for surprises in the first place. But he wasn't one to complain especially since it was the first time he had time to even see his friend. He looked down to his side to see Sakura with a large grin on her face. "Surprise," she whispered in a voice that she had reserved just for him. He felt his heart jump slightly and his stomach drop at what he had to talk to her about later.

"Happy birthday my rival! What should we compete for this time!" Kakashi groaned slightly seeing Gai making his way towards him. He watched as Sakura moved a way from him a smirk on her perfect rosy lips.

It had taken Kakashi a full 45 minutes before he was able to completely get away from the ever so persistent Gai. Some how Sakura had even been able to get Anko to come who was at the moment running around like a drunken maniac on the shoulders of Kiba. He was finally able to escape from all the noise and found himself standing on the back balcony of Sakura's apartment. He sighed before relaxing slightly. His only visible eyes started out over the village he was sworn to protect. The people he was sworn to protect. The woman he would always protect.

He glanced behind him to see her talking it up with a few of the guests. A large grin on her face. He was put the smile there. That wonderful smile that could light up a dark night. And it would be him that was going to tare that smile apart. It killed him what he would have to tell her... what the council had told him.

_Koharu and Homaru stood in from of Kakashi. Kakashi sat back in his desk before looking up at the two. "How can I help you?" Kakashi asked, these were the two people he had tried very hard to avoid since he became Hokage. They were the kind of people who always caused trouble. Or knew what would be best for the village that he was now in charge of. _

_"Kakashi... we have come to speak with you on a matter... that we feel is one of great importance," Homaru spoke. This was not what Kakashi wanted to be hearing. At least not today. Not after having a wonderful night with the most beautiful kunoichi in all of Konoha and knowing he would be spending a wonderful evening with her as well.  
><em>

_"I'm listening," Kakashi said.  
><em>

_"You do realize that Haruno Sakura is your student-" Koharu said getting straight to the issue, obviously not being happy with how Homaru was handling it.  
><em>

_"I am aware that Sakura is my former student and has not been my student since she was thirteen," Kakashi said leaning forward. Oh yeah this was not what he wanted to hear.  
><em>

_The older woman glared at Kakashi's statement. "She is not of age yet. It's not right!" Screeched the older woman causing both Kakashi and Homaru to flinch. "You will put an end to this Kakashi. Our Hokage should not be bedding a child! He should be looking for ways to strengthen our allies. He should be looking for a woman proper enough to call his wife," she spat the last word. _

_With that Kakashi stood up a glare directed at the older woman. "Are you trying to say that Sakura is not proper enough to be my wife?" he asked, his voice dangerously low.  
><em>

_"Yes, now do something about it," and with that the older woman left slamming the door behind her. Homaru waited a moment before opening his mouth.  
><em>

_"It is your decision to make... Kakashi... but we feel it would be in your best interest to wait or rethink your choice of action..."  
><em>

Kakashi jumped when he heard the sliding glass door open. He hadn't realized how engrossed with his thoughts he was. Turning around he met the worried eyes of Sakura. "Did you not like your party?" she asked. Kakashi sighed before running his hand through his hair. Sakura frown only deepened before she took a step closer to him. Bringing her hand up she ran her hand through his hair to comfort him. "Everyone's gone home," she whispered.

"I'm sorry I must have been out here for a long time..." he whispered back.

"Ino left to go to Sai's... if you want to tell me what's on your mind," she said. And without thinking or without processioning what he was going to say it just came from him mouth and smacked her right in the face.

"We can't be together,"

It hit her line a sack of bricks, or a punch to the face. What ever it was it hit her hard because all she could feel the feel of getting the wind knocked out of you. She could hear her heart hammering in her chest so she knew she was still alive but at the moment she wished that the thump of her heart would just stop. She could feel her throat close and then reopen and she could feel the sting of the tears coming back to her eyes. After she had fought so hard to keep the tears at bay.

"What?" her breath finally came back to her and she was able to form that simple question because she obviously hadn't heard him correctly.

Kakashi sighed before sitting down on the concert floor and pulled Sakura down with him so she was leaning again his chest and sat protected in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her and took in her scent. He could be such an idiot sometimes. "I...," he didn't know how to start what he needed to say since he had messed up so royally already. "Homaru and Koharu came to speak with me today," okay a good start he was at least talking now. "They told me that I needed to end our relationship," a sob escaped Sakura's throat and it killed him to see her like this. He could feel his own throat closing threatening to make him cry. He coughed slightly before continuing. "I don't want to end this," he whispered in her hair line. "If we keep it a secret... if this is a secret at least for awhile things will be okay. I know it's not going to be easy and we're going to have to work on it everyday... but I love you Sakura," his hold on her tightened. "I love you so much and that's all that matter,"

Sakura nodded her tears slowly drying up. Things were going to be okay. They weren't going to be perfect but what relationship was perfect? All she knew was that he loved her and she loved him and as long as they had that. Nothing would get in their way. She wouldn't let that happen and neither would he. "That's all that matters," she agreed before turning around to face him. She smiled lightly before bringing her hand up to cup his face. She reached up and wiped away the beginning of a tear. She slowly leaned down and kissed him lightly.

She placed her forehead against his. She felt him move slightly before looking down she noticed a simple red tulip in his hand. She smiled before taking it from him and smelling it slightly. She looked back down to where his letter for the day sat. She reached down before pulling it up and opened it.

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment," she read out loud. And was that right. She looked back up at him her eyes watery. And at that moment nothing else mattered to her. Just knowing that their love was real and that even if she couldn't scream to the world that they were in love, she could still tell her world that she loved him.

_**A/N**_

_**Hello all! I am so so so so so so so sorry! As most of you saw I had a friend put up my hiatus for me. I was without a computer for a long time and without inspiration for even longer. I didn't mean to leave you all waiting for so long. I had a lot going on in my personal life. Most of you knew I was married last year. Well now I'm going through a divorce so I was in a very bad place. Thank you guys for waiting for me. I hope you all continue to read and review because I will continue to write. I should be updating more often now. So look forward to the next chapter **_

_**Also I had a friend make me set up a facebook page that you all can like. Since almost everyone has a facebook I thought it would be a good idea. You guys can talk to me on there and ask about fics that I'm writing now or fics that I plan on writing in later dates. So thank you again for sticking with me and I hope the chapter was worth the wait!  
><strong>_

_**Sakura **_


	10. She's Everything

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

**_Chapter Ten: She's Everything_  
><strong>

Sakura smiled to herself as she walked down the semi dark hallway. Work had been... different. Different that was the word Sakura was going to use. It hadn't been bad per-say but she didn't feel like it was entirely good. In fact the weeks since Kakashi's birthday had been very trying on the couple. Sakura sighed in content when she finally reached her office. The hospital was the only place she didn't feel the watching eyes of the elders. She could hardly get a minute alone with Kakashi. She shut the office door behind her and made her way to her desk. She sat down a sighed. At least she was alone now. She was starting to enjoy the grave yard shift more and more.

"Yo," Sakura jumped out of her desk. She took in a deep breath when she finally realized that it was Kakashi who was sitting on her windowsill.

"You scared the crap out of me," she said holding her hand over her chest and trying to calm her fast beating heart. Kakashi chuckled before moving further into the room. He sat down in Sakura's car and pulled her over to him. Sakura smiled as she moved and sat down in his lap. She leaned into his chest and laid her head in the crook of his neck. She inhaled deeply enjoying the scent that belonged to the man she loved. "I loved the flowers," she whispered. Kakashi let a small smile spread on his lips.

He kissed her hair line before resting his chin on top of her head. His lone eye landed on the vase of tulips that sat on her desk. He could see his letter to her laid out on the desk in front of them.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage," He whispered into her hair line. Sakura sighed in content. She was in heaven right now. This was her favorite part of the day. The time when she got to spend alone time with the man who saved her and would always make her feel better. There was just something about him that calmed her.

"Christmas is coming up," Kakashi whispered before pulling Sakura up and closer to him. Sakura leaned her head back slightly so she could look into his eye.

"Yes," she said before snuggling into his chest again. She closed her eyes.

"I was thinking... I have to go to Suna for a few weeks around the time and I was hoping you would agree to be the medic for the travel," Sakura smiled.

"I'd like that,"

* * *

><p>Kakashi through Sakura onto the bed. His mouth meeting hers with in moments. Sakura moaned in the kiss as she laid in the center of the bed. Kakashi slowly began to trail kisses down from her lips and slowly down her neck until her met her red top. He looked up at her, her green eyes staring back into his. He reached up and gripped the zipper before pulling it down revealing her creamy white skin. Kakashi pulled the shirt apart, Sakura leaned up on her elbows so he could push the top off of her shoulders revealing even more of her beautiful skin.<p>

Kakashi pulled the straps down her arms making sure to kiss every inch of skin the was exposed before tossing the shirt away from them. He kissed his way back up her other arm. When he reached her chest he brought his hand up and trailed his finger down from her collar bone over her bar and down her flat stomach, she jumped slightly as he moved further down kissing her hip bones.

"Kakashi," Sakura whispered her hands reaching up and gripping his hair gently. "Stop torturing me," Kakashi chuckled slightly before making his way back up to her lips. Sakura expected a kiss that was rough and full of passion but instead received beautiful soft kisses. Sakura smiled as Kakashi left slight kisses to her ear.

"I love you," he whispered and Sakura let he smile grow wider. Kakashi moved slightly so his mismatched eyes watched her. Sakura brought her hand up and pushed his unruly hair back. Kakashi leaned into her touch.

"I love you more," She said.

"Hokage-sama," an a knock followed. Kakashi groaned. Of course. He looked at the clock on his bedside that read that it was 3 in the morning. He pulled his mask up over his face.

"Damnit," he said moving away from the bed. Sakura pulled the sheet up and covered herself. She sighed as she watched Kakashi's retreating form. She sat there for a moment before an idea popped into her head. She smiled wickedly as she went to work on removing the rest of her clothes. She held her underwear and waited for Kakashi to come back into the room.

"Yes, thank you," she heard Kakashi say and his front door shut again. Sakura waited a few moments. "I'm sorry about that Sak-" Kakashi said as he made his way back into the room and froze when black panties landed on his shoulder. He stared at her his mouth hung open in shock.

"What were you saying Hokage-sama," Sakura said a knowing smirk on her face. A smile made it's way to Kakashi's face as he stripped out of his clothes and made his way back to bed.

* * *

><p>Kakashi smiled as he stared down at the beauty that laid sleeping in his arms. Her pink hair spread out over his chest. He brought his hand up and moved her hair behind her ear so he could get a better view of her face. His smile faltered slightly. He wished he would wake up with her like this every morning. He wished they didn't have to keep their relationship a secret. All he wanted to do was to tell the world how lucky he was to have won the heart of the most beautiful and strong kunoichi in all of Konoha. He looked over at the bed side table and sighed slightly.<p>

He would have to get up in a few moments to go to work. He would have to leave the pink haired beauty all alone again. He moved out from under her making sure to lay her head on a pillow before he moved to the bathroom. Once he was done with his shower and was getting ready for the day the vase of tulips he had ordered arrived at his door. He smiled before pulling the card out.

_I love you. These three words could change are lives forever. but for you I will take that chance. _

He placed the card in between the flowers before picking up the vase. He walked into the bedroom where the sleeping beauty still laid asleep. He placed the vase of the bed side table. He bent down over the bed and kissed her temple before brushing her hair out of her face once more. He stood back up and smiled once more. There was nothing that would stand in their way of being together. He wouldn't allow it. This woman was the love of his life and he was never letting her get away.

**A/N**

**Hey all! Sorry that it took so long for me to update this. I've been having awful writers block and I was working on finishing After All which I have finally done! Anyway it's finally here and I should be updating more often. I've also posted a Harry Potter fanfic that I would super appreciate if you guys read it and told me what you thought. Also another reminder about the facebook page so go like that! :) Thank you for your continued support! It means the world to me.  
><strong>


	11. Only You

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

**_Chapter Eleven: Only You_  
><strong>

Sakura strapped her medical belt before picking up her traveling cloak from her bed. She threw it over her shoulders before making sure it was clipped properly. She started at herself in the mirror. It was amazing how so much had changed since the summer. It had only been two seasons and it seemed like the world was a completely different place. She had hit very low bottoms and yet it seemed now that she was unstoppable. She smiled. They were unstoppable. She turned away from her mirror and made her way to the front door. She checked her bag once more before being completely happy with it. Putting on her boots she left the house.

The walk to the front gate was a short one. She reached the main gate with plenty of time to spare. She waved to Moegi and Ino who were leaving the hospital. "Have fun Forehead!" Ino called. Sakura just waved at her blonde friend. Ino was the only person who actually knew that her and Kakashi had not ended their personal relationship. And for once Ino had taken to strict secrecy and hadn't even told Sai her long time boyfriend. Sakura smiled she was lucky to have a friend as good as Ino.

"You're not late," Sakura whispered, looking to her side she met Kakashi's ever calm demeanor. The older man shrugged lazily.

"Where is the rest of my escorts?" he asked looking around.

"Like I said. You're not late. They probably won't be here for another hour," Sakura said. Kakashi sighed.

"I guess this is what I get for being late for years before now," Kakashi ran his hand through his hair. The two stood in silence for a moment before Kakashi spoke. "I missed you last night," he whispered and Sakura felt her stomach turn into a pool of lava.

"I missed you too," she whispered, she chanced a glance at him letting her guard down but instantly became bored when another ninja landed next to them.

"Good morning Hokage-sama," Yuugao said, Sakura stared at the purple haired woman. It was odd seeing the woman out of her ANBU uniform and in normal ninja attire.

"Oh good. I'm glad to see you're already here Kakashi," Shizune said reaching the group a clipboard already in hand. "Hopefully we can find you a new assistant when we get back," she said glaring at Kakashi slightly which caused Sakura to giggle.

"Damn Kakashi you should have told me so many beautiful woman would be coming with us. I would have agreed to go a lot sooner," Genma said with a wink and slung his arm around Sakura's shoulder.

"It's nice to see you too Genma," Sakura said smashing her foot on his. She slipped away from him and to the other side of Kakashi. Kakashi smiled.

"Well now that we're all here we can start to make our way to Suna. I don't think we will have any problems on our way there but you never know. We'll start at a moderate pace. I'd like to be at the half way mark tonight so that way we can get there early Wednesday morning. If we need to camp the females will share a tent without Geman," Kakashi glared at the play boy who gave a shrug. "We should only need to be in Suna for a few days and at the latest be home by Monday. Alright let's head out,"

The traveling was torture for Sakura. She got to spend time with Kakashi but wasn't able to talk to him or be any where near him. It was frustrating to be so close yet so far away. All she wanted was to hug him and kiss him and let everyone else know how he was her world. Sakura glared as Yuugao started to walk closer to Kakashi. The pinkette scrunched her nose slightly as to not burn holes in the back of the purple haired woman's head.

"You know you look cute when you look like that," Genma said with a wink.

"Genma," Sakura said through clenched teeth. The dark haired man started at the pinkette before his eyes widened when a fist came in contact with his face sending him flying through the air and down the road a little pass where Kakashi was walking. Sakura who was fuming decided that she needed to speed her pass up. She kicked Genma in the ribs before continuing down the dirt path. Kakashi smiled lightly. That was the woman he choose to be with, and she was ridiculous. In the most amazing way possible.

* * *

><p>"Well maybe someone should teach him how to keep his hands to himself!" Sakura said with a huff, crossing her hands over her chest giving Kakashi a look that basically said 'don't challenge me on this one. You will lose'.<p>

Kakashi chuckled. "You're ridiculous," Kakashi brought his hand out in front of him reaching towards Sakura. She looked at him for a moment before moving towards him. She took her hand out and placed it in his where he pulled her closer to him. He set his chin on her head before holding her tight.

"Guess it's a good thing you love ridiculous people," she whispered.

"Only you,"

* * *

><p>Sakura had never been more happy to see the large rock formation that covered the village hidden in the sand. The pass two days had been a living hell. From watching Yuugao flirt with Kakashi to getting constantly hit on by Genma.<p>

"Alright," Kakashi's voice cut through the silence. "Sakura, Yuugao. I need you two to take our things to where we will be staying. Sakura you know where it is," Sakura looked up and locked eyes with him for a moment before she looked away quickly.

"Yes Hokage-sama," she whispered.

"Shizune, Genma you'll be following me for our noon meeting. We'll meet up after the meeting," Kakashi said giving Sakura one last look before the two groups went their separate ways. Sakura tried to not show that it bothered her that she wasn't allowed to go with him. The pinkette lead the purple haired woman down a few main streets until she reached what looked like a nice looking hotel.

"This is where we always stay when we come to Suna," Sakura said.

"Ah, how often have you gotten missions to Suna?" Yuugao asked.

"Every once in awhile. We used to get them all the time since Naruto was friends with Kazekage... but now that he's gone..." Sakura had to stop herself. It had been a long time since she had really thought about Naruto. She missed him dearly but she had to let him go. She needed to let him go. There was no way that she could move forward with her life if she lived in the pass. A pass where she was with Naruto.

"I'm sorry," Yuugao said. "It must be very lonely... with Naruto gone. And with Kakashi being Hokage he must al-"

"Kakashi always has time for me," Sakura said with a snap. Yuugao stayed quite as Sakura checked in for the group and the two made there way up to the rooms. Sakura sighed as she walked into the guys room and dropped of Kakashi and Genma's bags. She stared at Kakashi's for a moment before sitting down. Now all she had to do was sit and wait.

* * *

><p>"Kakashi-sama," Gaara spoke. The room was quite and for once only held the three Leaf ninja, Garra, and two other Suna nin. One being Temari his sister and the other being a weepy young girl who went by the name of Mitsuri. "I know we had not been able to discuss this as of late. I wish this wasn't something we had to discuss but my elders as well as yours feel this is the best course of action to continue with a strong bond between nations. We are to give our strongest kunoichi... Mitsuri...," Gaara motioned to the weepy girl. "As offer to the Hokage for his wife. And for you to do the same,"<p>

Kakashi remained quite in his seat. His face showing no emotion. On the inside he was falling apart. How could this be happening? There was no way that he could say no. Gaara knew it just as well as he did.

_That's why the elders agreed to let me bring Sakura... they want me to give her up... _

Kakashi stood up. His seat scrapping as he pushed it back. Genma stood up quickly in case he needed to tackle his friend. Shizune stayed seated knowing all too well what this would mean for the secret lovers. She bit her lip. She didn't know what to do.

"I will need to look over the Kunoichi in my village and get back to you Kazekage-sama. It was a pleasure seeing you today. We will set up another meeting in a months time. I'm sure that will be sufficient enough time," Kakashi said. He turned around and left the room. Matsuri burst into tears.

**A/N**

**I know. I bet a bunch of you guys are like 'WTF!' well believe it or not this was a big spin that I've had planned for a long time to throw into this fic. Pretty awesome right? I know I know you're probably thinking 'how is this going to connect with what happened at the beginning' I'm getting there! Lol since it's December in the fic I only have a few months until it gets too that point in the fic so be prepared for things to pick up. I really hope you guys like the fic and continue to read and review. I think this is one of my best fics and I'm glad you guys all made it possible. :) So thank you again for reading!  
><strong>


	12. Heartbreak Warfare

**Beginnings Aren't So Simple**

_**Chapter Twelve: Heartbreak Warefare**_

Kakashi paced back and forth in his room. Genma watched as his best friend was falling apart and there was nothing he could do. The past few hours had been agonizing for all of them. The three of them: Genma, Kakashi and Shizune sat in one of the conference rooms looking over the kunoichi that Suna had chosen. It was a terrible sinking feeling in all three of their stomachs. It was quite obvious who Suna's elders deemed good enough and who Konoha deemed fine enough to let know. The file had been filed with lesser kunoichi and the Sakura. It was very obvious to the three of them who they would have to give up.

Kakashi kicked over a chair bringing Genma out of his thoughts. "How can the elders do this!" Kakashi yelled.

"Kakashi sometime you have to do things you don't want to do," Kakashi glared at Genma.

"You're not helping," Kakashi said, his voice as cold as ice. The two men started at each other for a moment before Genma stood and left the room. Kakashi sighed before sitting down on the bed. His shoulders fell. What was he to do? He promised he would never hurt Sakura. He never wanted to hurt her. But here he was. He had already hurt her. He had also made a promise to his country. He was their Hokage. How could he just turn his back like that? He knew that if he didn't continue with this compromise that there would most surely be a war. That was something he did not want to have to ever see again.

He laid back and started at the ceiling fan. He watched as is moved around and around. Why did it seem like thing could never be simple. He could never and would never stop loving Sakura. But he would have to give her up. She would have to be Gaara's wife. It was so obvious that the young girl who was being given to him was just as in love with someone else as he was. There was nothing he or she could do. They had made promises to their villages to protect them in what ever way they could. Even if that meant... doing what they weren't comfortable with.

He closed his eye and prayed that the tears wouldn't come. How would he ever be able to look at her? How could he explain what was going to happen? He had no idea what he was going to do. All he knew what that his life was coming to an end.

* * *

><p>Sakura smiled as she walked down the streets of Suna. It was nice enough for winter. It still amazed her how warm it managed to be in the middle of the day here. It was a much different climate then what she was used to, but it was still enjoyable enough. She looked from shop to shop in hopes of find a perfect Christmas present for Kakashi. It would be their first Christmas as a couple. Yuugao walked next to Sakura looking around herself. It had been awhile since the older Kunoichi had a normal mission.<p>

"Excited for Christmas?" Sakura asked. Yuugao nodded.

"It'll be nice to be home for a change. I've been debating on leaving my ANBU status behind and do something different," Sakura smiled.

"I bet you'd be a great teacher," Sakura smiled.

"You know I think I would be,"

* * *

><p>"Kakashi you know just as well as I do that there is nothing we can do!" Shizune yelled exasperated.<p>

"Think Shizune. There has got to be something. Anything you can think of!" Kakashi said. He began to pace the room again. Never had he been so thankful that Sakura was enjoying herself enough to not be near him at the moment.

"The best thing I can think of is to give her a new duty station. Konoha rules are that if a shinobi recieves a new duty station they must remain their for three months before they can move," Shizune said sitting down, she brought her hand up to her head and rubbed her temple. Shizune couldn't even think of a position to put Sakura. The only move she could think would be for Sakura to take the ANBU exam but that would be ridiculous. That wasn't what Sakura wanted. Sakura hardly wanted to take the Jonin exam.

"There has got to be somewhere we can put her," Kakashi said.

"I can't think of anything," Shizune said. "She's already worked in the medical field for god knows how long. There is no way you can convince her to take the ANBU exam and if you did you'd have to send her on S-class Missions. She's not gonna sit around and do nothing Kakashi. Sakura loves this land just as much as you do. She knows what she has to do,"

"Stop! There has to be something you can do! You're my secretary for gods sake! You know all the job open-"

"The secretary position!" The two yelled together.

"I'll fill out some paper work right now but put the date for before we left. All that you would have to do is convince her to be your secretary. That would buy us some time to at least figure a few things out. We could even try and convince the Suna counsel to take another Kunoichi. That'll take a lot of work. Who knows maybe we could also have them see that it would be better for Matsuri to marry one of our ANBU members. We could tell them you're gay!"

"You're taking this a little too far now Shizune," Kakashi said annoyed.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Shiznue said quickly. The two stopped and stared at each other for a moment.

"We can't tell her," They both said in unison. They both nodded. There was no way they could tell Sakura the truth. It would crush her. And after all the great breakthroughs that had been happening. There was no way they could tell her the reality. They would have to keep it a secret.

"I'll go get everyone ready for the trip home," Shizune said walking out of the room to leave Kakashi with his thoughts.

Kakashi laid back against the bed once more and stared up at the ceiling fan. Since when did he have to lie. Sure he was good at not telling whole truths. But he felt terrible not telling Sakura the truth. This was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. No matter how dim and far away that future was he would fight for it everyday. Maybe keeping her in the dark was wrong but all he knew was that he couldn't break her heart again this month. He had already hurt her once by saying that had to hide their relationship. He couldn't tell her this. Not yet at least.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. He sat up as the door opened revealing the beautiful pinkette of his thoughts. "Ready to go when ever you are Hokage-sama," the minx said with a wink before shutting the door behind her.

**A/N**

**I know. I'm a terrible person. No excuses for not updating. Here's the new chapter. I hope you all enjoy it and continue to read. I should be updating more often now. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


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